***********************************************************

As Bill Sees It

Honesty And Recovery, p.270

In taking an inventory, a member might consider questions such as
these:

How did my selfish pursuit of the sex relation damage other
people and me? What people were hurt, and how badly? Just how
did I react at the time? Did I burn with guilt? Or did I insist that I
was the pursued and not the pursuer, and thus absolve myself?

How have I reacted to frustration in sexual matters? When
denied, did I become vengeful or depressed? Did I take it out on
other people? If there was rejection, or coldness at home, did I
use this as a reason for promiscuity?

*******************************

Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his family
back. His recovery is not dependent upon people. It is dependent
upon his relationship with God, however he may define Him.

1. 12 & 12 ,pp. 50-51
2. Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 99-100

***********************************************************

Walk In Dry Places
 
The Role of self-sufficiency
Success
When AA was first launched, the ideal of the self made person was often exalted. Certain outstanding individuals seem to have achieved amazing success entirely by their own efforts.  In the drive to be such a self made person, AA co-founder Bill W. was swept away in a torrent of alcoholic grandeur.
We know today that there's no such thing as a self-made person. We all need each other, and at various times we would have been lost without assistance that was generously and freely given.  Everyone has had such assistance at one time or another. WE are not entirely self-sufficient.
The true role of self-sufficiency is to use our talent and opportunities wisely and beneficially in cooperation with others. Our own success in whatever we do will be enhanced as we continue to acknowledge our need for others.
Throughout the day, there will be many times when I need the help of others, and many times when others will need my help.  I will give and receive help gratefully.

***********************************************************

Each Day a New Beginning

I can honestly say that I was never affected by the question of the success of an undertaking. If I felt it was the right thing to do, I was for it regardless of the possible outcome.
  —Golda Meir
Living a principled life is what the inner self desires. It's what God desires. And it's what the healthier ego desires. Living the program's principles is giving each of us practice in living a principled life, one that is free of guilt for our shortcomings.
Having principles assures direction. We need not ponder long how to proceed in any situation, what decision to make regarding any matter, when we are guided by principles. They offer us completeness. They help us define who we are and who we will be, in any turn of events.
As women, particularly as recovering women, we have struggled with self-definition. Often we were as others defined us, or we merely imitated those close by. Sometimes we may slip into old behavior and lose sight of who we are and how we want to live. It's then that the program's principles come immediately to our aid.
There is no doubt about how today should be lived. I will do it with confidence and joy.

***********************************************************

Keep It Simple
 
Honesty is the backbone of our recovery program. Honesty opens us up. It breaks down the walls we had built around our secret world. Those walls made a prison for us. But all of that is now changed. We are free.
Honesty has made us wise. We aren’t sneaking drinks anymore. We don’t have a stash to protect.
People who didn’t trust us now depend on our honesty. People who worked hard to avoid us, now seek us out. Self-honesty is the greatest gift we can give ourselves.
Prayer for the Day:  Higher Power, You are truth. I pray that I may not turn away from truth. I will not lie. My life depends on honesty.
Action For the Day:  For twenty or thirty minutes, I will think about how learning to be honest has changed my life.

***********************************************************

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Foreword to First Edition

This is the Foreword as it appeared in the first printing of the first edition in 1939

When writing or speaking publicly about alcoholism, we urge each of our Fellowship to omit his personal name, designating himself instead as "a member of Alcoholics Anonymous."
Very earnestly we ask the press also, to observe this request, for otherwise we shall be greatly handicapped.

p. xiii

***********************************************************

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

My Chance To Live

A.A. gave this teenager the tools to climb out of her dark abyss of despair.

On the rare days I managed to make it past noon, there were few brave enough to get within a hundred yards of me.  I was not a nice person sober.  I was angry and frightened, and I wanted you to feel as terrible as I did.  A few times I had drinks pushed on me:  "Here, drink this; then maybe you won't be so difficult."  I always had a nasty retort, and took what was offered.  Toward the end I prayed every night for God to take me in my sleep, and I cursed Him in the morning for allowing me to live.

p. 312

***********************************************************

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Tradition Twelve - "Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities."

But in the beginning, anonymity was not born of confidence; it was the child of our early fears. Our first nameless groups of alcoholics were secret societies. New prospects could find us only through a few trusted friends. The bare hint of publicity, even for our work, shocked us. Though ex-drinkers, we still thought we had to hide from public distrust and contempt.

p. 184

***********************************************************

The gift we can offer others is so simple a thing as hope.
--Daniel Berrigan

Until you value yourself, you won't value your time.
Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.
--M. Scott Peck

"This above all; to thine own self be true."
--William Shakespeare

The most important things in life aren't things.

H = Help others develop their potential. The possibilities and
rewards are endless.
E = Enlist people to help you. Having a support system improves
your ability to get the results you want.
A = Action keeps you moving forward. Do a little bit every day
and eventually you'll get to your goal.
R = Reach deep inside to find your strength. It's there if you
are willing to be courageous.
T = Trust the process. Rome wasn't built in a day. It takes time
to reap the benefits.
--Carol Gegner

Let there be more joy and laughter in your living.
--Eileen Caddy

***********************************************

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

MISTAKES

"Good people are good because
they've come to wisdom through
failure."
-- William Saroyan

Today I am able to learn from my mistakes because I can see that they
really were mistakes! I was trying to play the game of life without a
full deck. My big mistake in life was trying to drink alcohol like a
non-alcoholic. I couldn't do it.

Drugs do not think; they react. They always work, and for me they
worked against me. Most of my failures in life stemmed from a
fundamental misconception -- alcoholics cannot drink like
non-alcoholics! This I now accept. And in a strange way that is difficult
to explain, I am a stronger person for having lived through my
alcoholism. God has become more real, the world is more
comprehensible, my life is more understandable because of the pain.

If a part of "goodness" is knowing that you are not perfect, then on a
daily basis I am becoming a good person.

God, who has created a world in which there is pain and failure, help
me to accept both as vehicles to wisdom.

***********************************************************

“Come to me all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will
give you rest. Accept my teachings and learn from me, because I am
gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest for your lives. The
teaching I ask you to accept is easy; the load I give you to carry is
light.”
Matthew 11:28-30

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him
must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
Hebrews 11:6

***********************************************************

Daily Inspiration

Allowing yourself to be less than perfect allows you to accomplish great things in small ways. Lord, may I remove the pressure I overwhelming place on myself and do what I can when I can.

When one door shuts, immediately begin looking for the others that are opening. Lord, thank You for Your unceasing care and generosity.

***********************************************************

NA Just For Today

Hope

"Gradually as we become more God-centered than self centered, our despair turns to hope."
Basic Text, p.92

As using addicts, despair was our relentless companion. It colored our every waking moment. Despair was born of our experience in active addiction: No matter what measures we tried to make our lives better, we slid ever deeper into misery. Attempts we made to control our lives frequently met with failure. In a sense, our First Step admission of powerlessness was an acknowledgment of despair.

Steps Two and Three lead us gradually out of that despair and into new hope, the companion of the recovering addict. Having accepted that so many of our efforts to change have failed, we come to believe that there is a Power greater than ourselves. We believe this Power can - and will - help us. We practice the Second and Third Steps as an affirmation of our hope for a better life, turning to this Power for guidance. As we come to rely more and more on a Higher Power for the management of our day - to - day life, the despair arising from our long experiment with self-sufficiency disappears.

Just for today: I will reaffirm my Third Step decision. I know that, with a Higher Power in my life, there is hope.
pg. 282

***********************************************************

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
One is happy as a result of one's own efforts, tastes, a certain degree of courage, self-denial to a point, love of work, and, above all, a clear conscience. Happiness is no vague dream, of that I now feel certain. --George Sand
"We always go get a hot fudge sundae after the school choir concert," the girl said. Her parents laughed because their daughter said always, and they had only gone to a school choir concert once. Then the parents realized that the girl really had a great idea.
"Yes," the mother said, "we always get a sundae because we like to make up new traditions. We'll have to be sure and do it tonight so we don't let the tradition fall apart before it even gets started!"
They all laughed together and started debating which restaurant had the best hot fudge sundae.
We all need to have special traditions with our families. We need celebrations that have nothing to do with official holidays. Family holidays can mean so much more to us sometimes because they celebrate our shared experiences in life and become the source of happy memories for a lifetime.
What tradition can I start today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Life itself is the proper binge. --Julia Child
The Twelve Steps are a suggested program of recovery, not a cure. We can follow them and live a healed life, but we never develop immunity to our addictions and codependency. We remain vulnerable to slips, binges, and a return to old behaviors. If that has happened to us, our first need is to find a way back to the program. A slip may speak the blatant truth we avoided before. A man's complete honesty following a slip has sometimes been the way to renewed knowledge of his powerlessness. There is no value in feeling more shame and self hate in the aftermath of a slip. We need to accept we are incomplete and imperfect human beings. Recovery will come, not from shame, but from honestly accepting our powerlessness and the help we need.
The promise of recovery in this program, a healed life, is just as available after a slip as it ever was. It takes absolute commitment, a willingness to face the pain and hardship. Then we are freed again to engage fully in the joy and the awe of life.
I ask that my compulsions and my weaknesses be lifted from me. I'm not able to cure myself, but I pray for help.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
I can honestly say that I was never affected by the question of the success of an undertaking. If I felt it was the right thing to do, I was for it regardless of the possible outcome. --Golda Meir
Living a principled life is what the inner self desires. It's what God desires. And it's what the healthier ego desires. Living the program's principles is giving each of us practice in living a principled life, one that is free of guilt for our shortcomings.
Having principles assures direction. We need not ponder long how to proceed in any situation, what decision to make regarding any matter, when we are guided by principles. They offer us completeness. They help us define who we are and who we will be, in any turn of events.
As women, particularly as recovering women, we have struggled with self-definition. Often we were as others defined us, or we merely imitated those close by. Sometimes we may slip into old behavior and lose sight of whom we are and how we want to live. It's then that the program's principles come immediately to our aid.
There is no doubt about how today should be lived. I will do it with confidence and joy.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Prayer
Here are some of my favorite prayers:
Help. Please. Don't.
Show me. Guide me. Change me.
Are you there?
Why'd you do that?
Oh.
Thank you.
Today, I will tell God what I want to tell God, and listen for God's answer. I will remember that I can trust God.


I am learning to trust my intuition and I am willing to act on this inner guidance. I am taking positive and healthy actions today and my life is getting better and better. --Ruth Fishel

******************************

Journey to the Heart

Forgiveness Will Complete the Process

“Do visit Bryce canyon,” a man advised. “But do it later, after you’ve driven through the other parts of Utah. It’s like the icing on the cake.” So it is with forgiveness. It’s the icing on this cake.

Forgiveness is a simple word, but a difficult, complicated process. Forgiveness is also essential if we want to find happiness and joy.

To forgive too soon, before we’ve felt all we needed to feel along the way, is incomplete. Forgiveness based on denial won’t work. And not to forgive, after we’ve felt our emotions– our anger, rage, pain, and betrayal– will harden our hearts and keep us closed. We’ll have loose ends to tie up, an unfinished connection to our past. We’ll have unfinished business with others, even though we may not see them, speak to them, or consciously think about them any longer. We won’t be free, and neither will they.

Sometimes we need to seek forgiveness because we’ve tried everything else and nothing works to bring us back to peace. Sometimes forgiveness finds us, unexpectedly transforming our hearts, softening us, opening us, and renewing our hearts and our relationships.

Sometimes forgiveness surprises us because it’s the last thing we thought we would need to feel whole again. Forgiveness is often the completion of the process. It’s the icing on the cake.

*****

more language of letting go
You're responsible for you

You can delegate tasks, but you can't delegate responsibility, if the responsibility is really yours.

Sometimes, it's normal to delegate tasks to other people. We may hire people to do certain things for us. We may engage in contracts with a therapist or a healer to help us work through a certain issue. But the responsibility for which pieces of advice we follow, and the decisions we make in our lives, ultimately belongs to us.

It's easy to get lazy. We can let a friend, an employee, or even a skilled therapist begin making our decisions for us. We can listen to what they say and blindly take their advice. Then we don't have to take responsibility for our lives. If the decision doesn't work out, we can say, "You were wrong. Look at the mess you've gotten me into. I'm a victim again."

Yes you are. But you're a victim of yourself.

We can listen to advice and let other people help us, but if they're helping us do something that is our responsibility, the ultimate responsibility for the decision still belongs to us.

Get help when you need it. Delegate tasks. But don't give away your power. Remember you can think, you can feel, you can take care of yourself, you can figure out your problems.

Don't get lazy. Don't give away responsibility for your life.

God, help me remember that I am responsible for me.

*****

Aging Parents
The Cycle of Life by Madisyn Taylor

When we begin to deal with parents that are aging, it can be a good time to examine your life together and familial past.

For most of us a natural part of the cycle of life is when our roles as children start to shift from that into caretaking roles where are parents are concerned. This can be as major moving a parent into a retirement facility, or coming to the realization that it’s necessary to check in with them more often than usual. Whatever the case, such a shift is momentous as it signals a time of confronting our own mortality as we confront that of our parents. In addition, it can bring up issues about how well they cared for us when we were young. We may also find ourselves consumed with fear at the thought of losing them, even if we’ve been on our own for a very long time.
Talking to other friends and family who are going through similar experiences can be a large source of support. They can help us look at both the unresolved past and the unfolding present, and we are free to talk only about ourselves. Sometimes we need the kind of undivided attention a friend can offer in order to deal with the material that comes up at this time of our lives.
In many ways, this time of life signals a rebirth as we examine our individual past, as well as our familial past. As our parents’ lives move toward completion, we are able to see what they did with their time on earth, what we have done so far with our time, and what we might want to do with the time we have left. These challenges and blessings are all part of the cycle of life. Published with permission from Daily OM

******************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Now that we’re free from our addictions, living life one day at a time, we can begin to stop making unreasonable demands upon those we love. We can show kindness where we had shown none; we can take the time and initiative to be thoughtful, considerate and compassionate. Even with the people we dislike, we can at least try to be courteous, at times literally going out of our way to understand and help them. Just For Today, will I try to understand rather than be understood, being courteous and respectful to all people with whom I’m in contact?

Today I Pray

May I never forget my old sponge-like self, who soaked up every drop of affection and attention my family or friends could give me, until they were sapped dry. May I learn to be a giver, rather than a constant taker. May I practice offering interest, kindness, consideration and compassion until sensitivity to others becomes second nature for me.

Today I Will Remember

Giving is part of being.

******************************

One More Day

A positive, responsible person does not forget the past harm which may have been done because of earlier ignorance, thoughtlessness, or emotional limitations.
– Lewis F. Presnall

We’ve learned to or give those who we felt had done harm to us. Our pain diminished over time, and we were able to let go of our bad feelings.

We are much less accepting of our own errors. Years later we may continue to mercilessly judge ourselves for past mistakes. We can forgive ourselves by offering ourselves the same understanding we have offered those we love. As we move to a new, gentler way of looking at ourselves, we can accept the mistakes we’ve made in the past and even understand them in context of where we were at the time.

I can remember past mistakes I have made, but I will be gentle with myself when I see how far I have come.

************************************************** *****************

Food For Thought

My Own Body

My body is where I live. Its size and shape is a matter between my Higher Power and me. No one else is responsible for my body. In the past, I may have permitted other people to influence what I ate and how much I weighed, but I now take full responsibility.

Other people may think that I am too fat or too thin, but that is their problem, not mine. I am learning what my body needs in order to operate at peak efficiency. I am learning to avoid the foods, which I do not handle well. What and how much I eat depends on my own preference and the requirements of my metabolism.

My body is a gift to me from my Higher Power. Maintaining it in the best possible condition is my response to God’s gift. No one else can tell me how best to maintain my body, since no one else is living in it or receives its inner signals. If I honestly interpret the signals, which come from my body, I will stay abstinent and healthy.

Thank You for my body.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

Others
“Those who have learned by experience
what physical and emotional pain and anguish mean
are a community all over the world…
One and all, they know the longing to be free from pain.”
Albert Schweitzer

Whether we isolate or are on the go constantly, whether we're in the disease or out of it, whether we've found all the Promises or we haven't, we are bonded for a lifetime by the disease of our addiction.

I was alone until I found other compulsive eaters. Yes, I had a family and friends and relatives and doctors and church and careers, but I was emotionally alone with this intricate, enigmatic, hellhole of a disease. The moment I met and connected with other compulsive eaters, my "real" life began.

One Day at a Time . . .
I share what I have learned with those who haven't.
I give what I have to give, and I get so much more.
~ Mari

*****************************************

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

There is, however, a vast amount of fun about it all. I suppose some would be shocked at our seeming worldliness and levity. But just underneath there is deadly earnestness. Faith has to work twenty-four hours a day in and through us, or we perish. - Pg. 16 - Bill's Story

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

This hour may be rough. No one promised us a rose garden and if they did they were wrong. Recovery is not a thing like a rose garden; it is a process like the act of gardening. Right now we are tilling the soil; soon you will be planting seeds; later new growth will reach for the sun.

Let me know Higher Power, God as I understand You, that I can't reach for the sun until I've left the muck of addiction.

Distorted Reasoning

This disease distorted the reasoning of all around me. Because we were trying so hard to hide the pain of watching those we love become mired in the disease and losing our grip on our own happiness, we used our thinking to twist and bend the truth into a more palatable shape. We rationalized, denied what was right in front of us, made excuses and sometimes lied because it made us feel better than to admit the truth. The alcoholic lied to hide their uses and abuses, the family members lied to hide their fear, pain and confusion. We chose stinking thinking over the truth, lying to the world and to ourselves. Pretty soon, our thinking became so filled with denial and rationalization that we started to live by it. Eventually our sense of reality became distorted. Today, I am willing to live life on life's terms, not mine. I am able to tolerate the truth because I know that I have a program, I have accepted the things I cannot change and changed the things I can.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

They say the easiest way to stay clean and sober is to breathe in and breathe out and don't drink or drug in between. That leads to abstinence. Working the Steps leads to recovery.

Nothing is so bad that a drink or drug won't make it worse and nothing is so good that working my steps won't make it better.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Rather than giving others a piece of your mind, don't-and have peace of mind.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

I love myself and all that I am today.

My fears are just one part of all that I am. I am a human being on a progressive path to recovery and every part of me is important in the making up of who I am.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

Denial - Don't Even Notice I Am Lying. - Mickey B.

*****************************************

AA Thought for the Day

September 28

Fear
For all its usual destructiveness, we have found that fear can be the starting point for better things.
Fear can be a stepping-stone to prudence and to a decent respect for others.
It can point the path to justice, as well as to hate. And the more we have of respect and justice,
the more we shall begin to find the love which can suffer much, and yet be freely given.
So fear need not always be destructive, because the lessons of its consequences can lead us to positive values.
- The Language of the Heart, p. 265

Thought to Ponder . . .
What I fear I create.

AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
F E A R = Frustration, Ego, Anxiety, Resentment.

~*~A.A. Thoughts For The Day~*~

Meetings
"Sobriety and a plan for living that produces
a personality change and a spiritual awakening
are imperative.
Through AA, many receive the needed change and awakening
just by trying to live by AA principles
and associating with AA people.
We do this by going to many AA meetings with an open mind
and a desire to live the good-feeling life without chemicals --
liquid or otherwise."
c. 1976AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 459

Thought to Consider . . .
The ankle-biters of everyday struggles will eat away at me
unless I go to meetings and share.

*~*~*AACRONYMS*~*~*
H O P E = Hearing Other Peoples' Experience

*~*~*~*~*^Just For Today!^*~*~*~*~*

All-Encompassing
>From "The Whole Company of ...."
"I was born an Anglican (Church of England), and the following crops up in one of our services (perhaps in the services of other denominations also): 'Therefore with angels and archangels and the whole company of heaven, we laud and glorify Thy name.' Since I have no knowledge of heaven or the company kept there, whenever I repeat this passage of praise, I substitute the word 'and the whole company of Alcoholics Anonymous.'
"Being an A.A. Loner, I have felt very out of things and on my own. But I do believe in the power of collective thought, whether for good or evil. Thus, I believe that the collective thought of the body of Alcoholics Anonymous throughout the world must have some effect on alcoholics, whether they are aware of it or not. - Kenton-on-Sea, South Africa"
1973 AAWS, Inc.; Came to Believe, 30th printing 2004, pg. 87

*~*~*~*~*^ Grapevine Quote ^*~*~*~*~*

"In early sobriety, I remember moaning to another member about how I didn't have a relationship, I didn't have a new car, and I didn't have a flashy job. He replied: 'It takes a steady hand to hold a full cup.'"
Canberra, Australia, February 2003
"The Cup of Life,"
In Our Own Words

*~*~*~*~*^ Big Book & Twelve N' Twelve Quotes of the Day ^*~*~*~*~*

"We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from
it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will
find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new
attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or
effort on our part. It just comes!"
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 84~

"We have seen the truth demonstrated again and again: "Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic." Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever."
Alcoholics Anonymous p.33

When resentful thoughts come, try to pause and count your blessings.
-Alcoholics Anonymous p.119

An honest regret for harms done, a genuine gratitude for blessings received, and a willingness to try for better things tomorrow will be the permanent assets we shall seek.
-Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions p. 95

Misc. AA Literature - Quote

'All A.A. progress can be reckoned in terms of just two words: humility and responsibility. Our whole spiritual development can be accurately measured by our degree of adherence to these magnificent standards.
'Ever deepening humility, accompanied by an ever greater willingness to accept and to act upon clear-cut obligations - these are truly our touchstones for all growth in the life of the spirit. They hold up to us the very essence of right being and right doing. It is by them that we are enabled to find and to do God's will.

Prayer for the Day: Lord, I'm Hurting
Yes, Lord I hurt. The pain is deep,
And I feel the mountains are so steep.
I cannot seem to stand.
Please, dear Lord, take my hand.
I cannot seem to find my way.
For me the sun is not shining today.
I know You're there; I've felt Your presence near,
But now, my Lord, my heart is gripped with fear.
Lord, help the sun to shine and to know that You are mine.
Heal this pain I feel; make Your presence very real.
Today, Lord, I give You all.
Help me, dear Lord, not to fall.
And if I fall, hold me tight,
So I can feel Your strength and might.