***********************************************************

As Bill Sees It

A "Special" Experience?, p.256

I was the recipient of a tremendous mystic experience or
"illumination," and at first it was very natural for me to feel that this
experience staked me out as somebody very special.

But as I look now back upon this tremendous event, I can only feel
very grateful. It now seems clear that the only special features of my
experience were its suddenness and the overwhelming and immediate
conviction that it carried.

In all other respects, however, I am sure that my own experience was
essentially like that received by any A.A. member who has strenuously
practiced our recovery program. Surely, the grace he receives is also
of God; the only difference is that he becomes aware of his gift more
gradually.

Grapevine, July 1962

***********************************************************

Walk In Dry Places
 
Am I getting too busy?
Time Management.         
It's always risky when a recovering person gets too busy for meetings.
It's also dangerous when business and personal concerns crowd out
interest in the program.
We should never deceive ourselves by thinking that we're somehow
safe just because our time is filled with useful and interesting work.
Many of us have a tendency to become addicted to "busy-ness". 
Though less destructive than drinking, this serves as an escape, just
as alcohol did.
The danger is that when the work no longer satisfies us, we'll find our
lives becoming empty again.  We could then be very vulnerable to taking a drink.
We should never be too busy for the wonderful, constructive work of the program.
Far from taking time away from our other actives, work in the program will
enhance everything we do.
I'll try to balance my activities today, making sure that I have time for the program.

***********************************************************

Keep It Simple
 
You must look into people, as well as at them.
---Lord Chesterfield
When we were using alcohol and other drugs, we only looked at people.
We treated them like objects. Often, we could only see how they helped
us get high, or how they got in our way.
Now we can see others as people. We look into them. We learn about
their feelings and thoughts.
We care about them. What a wonderful change! We are fully human
again. We can have relationships.
When we look into others, we see life. We see beauty, courage, hope
and love. We see bits of ourselves and our Higher Power. What a miracle life is.
Prayer for the Day:  Higher Power, help me be fully human today.
Help me see You in others.
Action for the Day:  Today, I’ll look into someone. I’ll do this by having a
talk with a friend. And I’ll really listen.

***********************************************************

Each Day a New Beginning

What a strange pattern the shuttle of life can weave.  --Frances Marion
How shortsighted is our judgment about today's experiences! We'll see
with clarity where they may lead us only after we've reached our destination.
Of one thing we can be certain: Today's experiences, in concert with
yesterday's and all that's gone before, are combining to weave an intricate
life design, unique, purposeful, and for our ultimate good.
We need not feel remorse over lost chances or unproductive behavior in
the past. Our destination remains the same, and our arrival is guaranteed.
Our actions and decisions are never wrong. We may veer off course for a
time, but the design for our lives will pull us back on the track.
The program is part of the design for our lives. It's helping us to stay on
course. In fact, when we're working the Steps, we're at ease with our
direction, and we trust the outcome of our efforts to the power of the
program. We will add to the richness of our design, today, just as
we have every day of our lives. We can anticipate today's experiences
with an excited heart.
There is something special going on in my life today. I will give
everybody and every event my full attention.

***********************************************************

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 11 - A Vision For You

We know of an A.A. member who was living in a large community. He had lived there but a few weeks when he found that the place probably contained more alcoholics per square mile than any city in the country. This was only a few days ago at this writing. (1939) The authorities were much concerned. He got in touch with a prominent psychiatrist who had undertaken certain responsibilities for the mental health of the community. The doctor proved to be able and exceedingly anxious to adopt any workable method of handling the situation. So he inquired, what did our friend have on the ball?

p. 163

***********************************************************

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

My Chance To Live

A.A. gave this teenager the tools to climb out of her dark abyss of despair.

If you saw who I really was, you would turn away in disgust or use my many weaknesses to destroy me.  One way or the other I was convinced I'd be hurt.  I couldn't allow that to happen, so I kept the real me veiled behind a force field of rough-edged attitude.  How I got to this place is still a mystery to me.

p. 309

***********************************************************

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Tradition Ten - "Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy."

Let us reemphasize that this reluctance to fight one another or anybody else is not counted as some special virtue which makes us feel superior to other people. Nor does it means that the members of Alcoholics Anonymous, now restored as citizens of the world, are going to back away from their individual responsibilities to act as they see the right upon issues of our time. But when it comes to A.A. as a whole, that's quite a different matter. In this respect, we do not enter into public controversy, because we know that our Society will perish if it does. We conceive the survival and spread of Alcoholics Anonymous to be something of far greater importance than the weight we could collectively throw back of any other cause. Since recovery from alcoholism is life itself to us, it is imperative that we preserve in full strength our means of survival.

p. 177

***********************************************************

"What helps me to go forward is that I stay receptive. I
feel that anything can happen."
--Anouk Aimee

"No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched."
--George Jean Nathan

To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to
go on creating oneself endlessly.
--Herni Bergson

"Happiness is an attitude of mind, born of the simple determination to
be happy under all outward circumstances."
-- J. Donald Walters

"A good laugh is sunshine in the house."
-- William Makepeace Thackeray

***********************************************

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

MIDDLE-AGE

"Middle-age is when you begin
to smile at things that used to
cause you to laugh."
-- Anonymous

Today I feel so young at heart. I love to laugh, I mean really laugh; I
love to play and act silly in my life; I love discovering my "child" that
comes out to give balance to my life.

This was not always the case. Not too many yesterdays ago I was
serious, depressed, affecting a smile that did not come from within.
Alcoholism made me an unhappy man. Before I got sober my so called
"high" had changed into a boring "low"!

I was middle-aged before I was thirty. Today I feel younger than I did
twenty years ago -- and it shows. You are what you drink. Today I am
sober!

Thank You for the gift of "play" in my life.

***********************************************************

"Only believe."
Mark 5:36

"For nothing is impossible with God."
Luke 1:37

***********************************************************

Daily Inspiration

It is nice to have the things money can buy, but be sure that you don't lose the
things money can't buy in the process. Lord, never let me forget who I am and
that which truly means the most.

When you have faith in yourself and God, you will know that you are loved and
safe and never alone. Lord, I am these things because You are always with me.

***********************************************************

NA Just For Today

Secrets Are Reservations

"Eventually we are shown that we must get honest, or we will use again."

Basic Text p.82

Everyone has secrets, right? Some of us have little secrets, items that would cause only minor embarrassment if found out. Some of us have big secrets, whole areas of our lives cloaked in thick, murky darkness. Big secrets may represent a more obvious, immediate danger to our recovery. But the little secrets do their own kind of damage, the more insidious perhaps because we think they're "harmless!"

Big or little, our secrets represent spiritual territory we are unwilling to surrender to the principles of recovery. The longer we reserve pieces of our lives to be ruled by self-will and the more vigorously we defend our "right" to hold onto them, the more damage we do. Gradually, the unsurrendered territories of our lives tend to expand, taking more and more ground.

Whether the secrets in our lives are big or little, sooner or later they bring us to the same place. We must choose-either we surrender everything to our program, or we will lose our recovery.

Just for today: I want the kind of recovery that comes from total surrender to the program. Today I will talk with my sponsor and disclose my secrets, big or small.

pg. 268

***********************************************************

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Something can't happen every day. You get up, go to work, come back, eat again, enjoy some leisure, go back to bed. Now that's plenty for most folks. --Ntozake Shange
When we were all little kids, before we started school, the days felt so long it seemed like we had time for everything.
But when we started school, we had to start living by the clock, and in this way, we became very grown up. Sometimes we feel angry about living by the clock, all of us who are first grade and older! But there are things we can do to help us live with these limits.
First, we can learn to set a goal for each day, and once we have reached that goal--whether it's doing spelling homework, mopping the floor, or writing three business letters--we can announce to whoever happens to be around, "Now that I've completed that, I don't have to worry about one more thing to feel worthwhile."
Second, we can believe what we said! We can relax, do something fun, enjoy the pleasures that the day offers.
What is my goal for today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
When a person drowns himself in negative thinking he is committing an unspeakable crime against himself. --Maxwell Maltz
Negative thoughts can rule our lives as compulsively as an addiction. The feelings of power we get from holding a dismal and gloomy outlook deprive us of the positive and pleasant parts of life. Some of us have said, "If I expect the worst, I won't be disappointed. If I think the worst about myself, no one else can cut me down." It is like taking a driving trip and looking only for trash and garbage in the ditches, ignoring the beauty beyond. Indeed, what we see may be real, but it is a very limited piece of the picture.
When we have relied on negative thinking, it feels risky to give it up. We cannot do it in one day. We can begin by imagining ourselves with a more open attitude toward the world and ourselves. Then we can try it out as an experiment in little ways, with no commitment. Finally we reach the point where we can take a risk and entrust our Higher Power with the outcome.
Today, I will experiment with hopeful and positive thoughts about what happens.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
What a strange pattern the shuttle of life can weave. --Frances Marion
How shortsighted is our judgment about today's experiences! We'll see with clarity where they may lead us only after we've reached our destination. Of one thing we can be certain: Today's experiences, in concert with yesterday's and all that's gone before, are combining to weave an intricate life design, unique, purposeful, and for our ultimate good.
We need not feel remorse over lost chances or unproductive behavior in the past. Our destination remains the same, and our arrival is guaranteed. Our actions and decisions are never wrong. We may veer off course for a time, but the design for our lives will pull us back on the track.
The program is part of the design for our lives. It's helping us to stay on course. In fact, when we're working the Steps, we're at ease with our direction, and we trust the outcome of our efforts to the power of the program. We will add to the richness of our design, today, just as we have every day of our lives. We can anticipate today's experiences with an excited heart.
There is something special going on in my life today. I will give everybody and every event my full attention.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
What's Good for Me?
When we are soul searching, be it for the smaller or larger decisions we face during the day, we can learn to ask, is this good for me?... Is this what I really want?... Is this what I need?...Does this direction feel right for me?...or am I succumbing to the control and influence that I sometimes allow others to have over me?
It is not unhealthy selfishness to question if something is good for us. That is an old way of thinking. To ask if something is good for us is a healthy behavior, not to be ashamed of, and will probably work out in the other person's best interests too.
We shall not wander down a selfish path of self-indulgence by asking if a thing is good for us. We shall not stray from God's intended plan, God's highest good, by asking if a thing is good for us. By asking ourselves this simple question, we participate in directing our life toward the highest good and purpose; we own our power to hold ourselves in self-esteem.
Today, I will begin acting in my best interests. I will do this with the understanding that, on occasion, my choices will not please everyone around me. I will do this with the understanding that asking if a thing is good for me will ultimately help me take true responsibility for my life and my choices.


I am most grateful for the guidance I am receiving in my recovery. The more I open myself up to admitting I can't do it alone, the more I realize help is always there. --Ruth Fishel

******************************

Journey to the Heart

There Is Power in Powerlessness

Sometimes we can’t help ourselves. No matter how hard we try, no matter how deeply we feel we should be doing things differently, no matter how committed we are to personal responsibility, free will, self-actualization, and self-determination, sometimes we simply cannot help ourselves.

We keep on doing the same old things. We can’t seem to change, even though we wish we could. It doesn’t mean we aren’t responsible, doesn’t mean we aren’t accountable. It means simply that for the present moment, we can’t change, can’t help ourselves, can’t do it differently.

Many of us have discovered a truth in these moments. There is power even in powerlessness. There is power in admitting powerlessness. By voicing the problem, by accepting the powerlessness, you are bringing– attracting– help. Ask for the help you need. Admit and accept your powerlessness.

Be gentle with yourself. You are not alone in your problem, your powerlessness, or your search for a solution. Let love lead the way to the answer you seek.

*****

more language of letting go
Affirm yourself

When I began flying and skydiving, I found myself fumbling inadequately with new roles or parts of myself. When I began writing, I found myself fumbling with that part of myself. I want to be a writer, I'd think, but I'm not, at least not yet. I have to get this number of books published and this number of good reviews first.

It can take years and many successes in any new area in our lives before we can confidently say to ourselves and others, I am. I am a sky diver. I am a pilot. I am a writer. Oh, the power of those words I am.

You may not have much parenting experience if your first child was just born last week, but you are a mother. I didn't have my ten-year medallion yet, but on the first day of my recovery I could honestly say, "I'm a recovering addict and alcoholic."

Who or what do you want to become? A good parent? A sober, recovering person? A good girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse? Do you want to become happy, peaceful, tolerant? Don't wait until you're successful to tell yourself you're that. Start now by saying you are what you want to become instead of reinforcing the words I'm not. Yes, you have much to learn. Yes, there's a way to go on that path. And you may not be proficient at it, or an expert, yet. But you don't have to be to say those little words I am.

Help create the new part of your personality by using and affirming those powerful words I am. Then watch as a new part of yourself emerges.

God, help me use my creative powers to create a better, more fulfilling life. Help me use the words I am to create who you and I want me to be.

Activity: Create your own affirmations. We each have our own path to follow, we each have different needs at different times. Pick out one area of your life that you're working on. Then give yourself one affirmation that helps you create the new reality you're working hard to create. The first two words of the affirmation need to be I am. Say this affirmation out loud seven times while looking in the mirror. Do this three times a day, once in the morning, once midday, and once before retiring at night. Do this for twenty-one consecutive days, without missing one day-- or until you don't need to say it aloud anymore because you believe it.

*****

Like a Small Town
In a Hurry

In the effort to keep up we are so busy rushing from point A to point B that we forget to enjoy the ride.

Our lives have become increasingly fast-paced, and the effort to keep up often occupies all our time and attention. We are so busy rushing from point A to point B that we forget to enjoy the ride. We race to the store without noticing the leaves on the trees or the clouds in the sky. We go through the checkout line feeling too pressed to converse with the cashier or the other people in line. At the end of a day filled with this kind of frantic pace, we may begin to wonder what it is we do all these things for, if we don’t even have the time to occasionally stop and just take it all in.

Always being rushed and in a hurry doesn’t allow time for the soul to enjoy life, which is composed of small, ordinary moments, like watching snow fall from the sky, having a spontaneous conversation with a stranger, or lingering over a meal for several hours. Small towns and the people who live in them can teach us all a thing or two about living life to the fullest as a daily matter. City people have a tendency to think that their lives are full because they are doing so many different things, but in a small town, there tends to be more time left open to be spontaneous or take an extended moment of rest. This certainly doesn’t mean that we can’t live in a city and enjoy life fully—we can and do; it just takes a little more awareness.

One thing we can do, wherever we live, is bring awareness breaks into our day and take 10 minutes to simply look out the window and observe what’s happening outside. We might also choose to cultivate a relationship with someone we see regularly, such as a clerk at the convenience mart, a neighbor, or someone we see in the elevator at work. Taking time to have a conversation that is not necessary is a true luxury in this day and age, as is staring out the window. Participating in these acts of timelessness makes the biggest city in the world start to feel a little bit more like a small town. Published with permission from Daily OM

******************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Until we came to The Program, our lives had been spent running from pain and problems. Escape by way of alcohol or other chemicals was always our temporary solution. Then we started going to meetings. We looked and listened, often with amazement. Everywhere around us, we saw failure and misery transformed by humility into priceless assets. To those who’ve made progress in The Program, humility is simply a clear recognition of what and who we really are — followed by a sincere attempt to become what we could be. Is The Program showing me what I could be?

Today I Pray

I pray for humility, which is another word for perspective, a level look at the real me and where I stand in relation to God and other people. May I be grateful to humility; it is the processing plant through which my raw hurts and ragged delusions are refined into new courage and sensitivities.

Today I Will Remember

Humility restores my “sight”.

******************************

One More Day

I loaf and invite my soul, I lean and loaf at my ease observing a spear of summer grass.
–Walt Whitman

Sometimes we may have wished we could be like Aladdin and have three wishes. We might have even made mental lists of the things we could ask for.

We know that just having material possessions is not a guarantee for happiness. We know there has to be a purpose to life beyond wealth, a reason to get out of bed each morning. Whatever our walk of life, whatever our state of health, we all need to feel worthwhile.

We can’t rub magic lanterns, but we can create important reasons for living, such as a paid job, volunteer work, gardening or another hobby, or just plain relaxing. Idleness is sometimes good for improving our attitude.

The power of relaxation is a strong reason to keep me from becoming stressed.

************************************************** *****************

Food For Thought

Emptiness

When we were overeating, we felt empty inside no matter how much we ate. Now that we are abstaining, we may still experience periods of feeling empty. This emptiness is especially likely to occur after an occasion to which we have looked forward with much anticipation.

Perhaps we expect too much from a person or an event and feel let down when reality falls short of our anticipation. Perhaps we find ourselves with a group of people whose conversation is superficial and relationships are phony. Putting on a mask and keeping it in place for any length of time leaves us feeling drained and empty.

Without honest, meaningful contact with other people, we are emotionally undernourished. In order to have the mutually nurturing relationships we need, our false fronts have to be abandoned. Through this program, we learn to seek out the kinds of people and activities that fill us and to avoid those that leave us empty

Fill my emptiness, Lord.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

SLOW SUICIDE
“He who does not use his endeavors to heal himself
is brother to him who commits suicide.”
Solomon

Rather than a regular, sudden suicide, I have subtly entertained the idea of slow suicide. I have neglected myself: my health, my vision and my gifts. I have either taken actions that have harmed me, or I have neglected to take actions that would have helped me to live a longer and more productive life. I have stuffed my face with garbage, accepting that as my fate.

Today I have a program that teaches me that I can’t take care of myself alone and that I can, and will, receive help. I accept that help with humility, taking the Steps I am shown and using the tools I am offered. I begin to see that I have something to offer others and my life takes on new meaning and purpose.

One day at a time...
I pray that I will say “yes” to my own life today, and take actions which represent that “yes.”
~ Q

*****************************************

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks -- drinks which they see others taking with impunity. - Pg. xxix - 4th. Edition - The Doctor's Opinion

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Letting go of the past and the present is to admit powerlessness. This means that the outcome is not in your hands.

All I can do is the best I can do. I know that the results are in the hands of my Higher Power.

Staying Calm

Peace begins with me. I need to remember that emotions run high during recovery. My joys are higher and my longings are stronger. The world is more intense than it usually is. When I forget this, I start to feel out of step if I'm not where I think I should be, I compare my insides with everybody else's outsides and use that to make myself wrong. I want to push away my inner world and I get a little afraid of what I'm experiencing if it doesn't fit my image what I'm supposed to be feeling. Then I engage in a cover up, only the person I am covering up is me. When I do that, I am only half there. Today I will let myself have my full range of feelings, knowing that they may, at times, be a bit of a roller coaster, but knowing also, that I will land comfortably at the end of the ride.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

They say that you need only one meeting a week but it might be a good idea to go to one every night so you don't miss the one you need!

Seven days without a meeting makes one weak.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

The people you hang with are the people you hang with.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

I am most grateful for the guidance I am receiving in my recovery.

The more I open myself up to admitting I can't do it alone, the more I realize help is always there.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I'm not the type who came out of blackouts screaming: Cover me I'm going in! I came out at the dry cleaners with the assistant saying; 'Boxed...or wrapped?' With an expression which said that he'd been asking this for some time and hadn't had any response - What do you say? 'Could you repeat that? I just got here myself.' - Charlie C.

*****************************************

AA Thought for the Day

September 14

Step Four
"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."

Step Four is the vigorous and painstaking effort to discover what the liabilities in each of us have been, and are.
I want to find exactly how, when, and where my natural desires have warped me.
I wish to look squarely at the unhappiness this has caused others and myself. . .
Without a willing and persistent effort to do this, there can be little sobriety or contentment for me.
- Daily Reflections, p. 100

Thought to Ponder . . .
I want the gift of an untroubled mind.

AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
H O W = Honesty, Open-mindedness, Willingness.

~*~A.A. Thoughts For The Day~*~

Comfort
"When I am feeling depressed,
I repeat to myself statements such as these:
'Pain is the touchstone of progress.' . . . 'Fear no evil.' . . .
'This, too, will pass.' . . .
'This experience can be turned to benefit.'
These fragments of prayer bring far more than comfort.
They keep me on the track of right acceptance;
they break up my compulsive themes of guilt,
depression, rebellion, and pride;
and sometimes they endow me with the courage
to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference."
Bill W., AAGrapevine, March 1962
c. 1967AAWS, As Bill Sees It, p. 110

Thought to Consider . . .
God enters us through our wounds.

*~*~*AACRONYMS*~*~*
H E L P = Hope, Encouragement, Love, Patience.

*~*~*~*~*^Just For Today!^*~*~*~*~*

Upkeep
>From "Having Fun Yet":
"When my own house is in order, I find the different parts of my life are more manageable. Stripped from the guilt and remorse that cloaked my drinking years, I am free to assume my proper role in the universe, but this condition requires maintenance. I should stop and ask myself, Am I having fun yet? If I find answering that question difficult or painful, perhaps I'm taking myself too seriously and finding it difficult to admit that I've strayed from my practice of working the program to keep my house in order."
1990 AAWS, Inc.; Daily Reflections, pg. 31

*~*~*~*~*^ Grapevine Quote ^*~*~*~*~*

"The way our 'worthy' alcoholics have sometimes tried to judge the 'less worthy' is, as we look back on it, rather comical. Imagine, if you can, one alcoholic judging another!"
AA Co-Founder, Bill W., August 1946
"Who Is a Member of Alcoholics Anonymous?"
The Language of the Heart

*~*~*~*~*^ Big Book & Twelve N' Twelve Quotes of the Day ^*~*~*~*~*

"When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could
not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that
either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is or He
isn't."
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, pg. 53~

If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were
sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have
recovered long ago. But we found that such codes and philosophies did not
save us, no matter how much we tried. We could wish to be moral, we
could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will
these things with all our might, but the needed power wasnt there. Our
human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient,
they failed utterly.
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, pg. 44~

I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows.
-Alcoholics Anonymous p. 76

Learning daily to spot, admit, and correct these flaws is the essence of character-building and good living.
-Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions p. 95

Misc. AA Literature - Quote

The unique ability of each A.A. to identify himself with, and bring recovery to, the newcomer in no way depends upon his learning, his eloquence, or any special individual skills. The only thing that matters is that he is an alcoholic who has found a key to sobriety.
In my first conversation with Dr. Bob, I bore down heavily on the medical hopelessness of his case, freely using Dr. Silkworth's words describing the alcoholic's dilemma, the 'obsession plus allergy' theme. Though Bob was a doctor, this was news to him, bad news. And the fact that I was an alcoholic and knew what I was talking about from personal experience made the blow a shattering one.
You see, our talk was a completely mutual thing. I had quit preaching. I knew that I needed this alcoholic as much as he needed me.

Prayer for the Day: Dear God, Having had a spiritual experience, I must now remember that "faith without works is dead." And PRACTICAL EXPERIENCE shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. So, God, please help me to carry this message to other alcoholics! Provide me with the guidance and wisdom to talk with another alcoholic because I can help when no one else can. Help me secure his confidence and remember he is ill.