"HOLD BACK NOTHING"

The real tests of the situation are your own willingness to
confide and your full confidence in the one with whom you
you share your first accurate self-survey. . . . Provided
you hold back nothing, your sense of relief will mount from
minute to minute. The dammed-up emotions of years break
out of their confinement, and miraculously vanish as soon
as they are exposed. As the pain subsides, a healing
tranquility takes its place.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS p. 61-62,

A tiny kernel of locked-in feelings began to unfold when I
first attended A.A. meetings and self-knowledge then became
a learning task for me. This new self-understanding brought
about a change in my responses to life's situations. I
realized I had the right to make choices in my life, and
the inner dictatorship of habits slowly lost its grip.
I believe that if I seek God I can find a better way to
live and I ask Him daily to assist me in living a sober life.
***********************************************************

As Bill Sees It

"Admitted to God . . .", p. 126

Provided you hold back nothing in taking the Fifth Step, your sense of
relief will mount from minute to minute. The dammed-up emotions of
years break out of their confinement, and miraculously vanish as soon
as they are exposed. As the pain subsides, a healing tranquillity takes
its place. And when humility and serenity are so combined, something
else of great moment is apt to occur.

Many an A.A., once agnostic or atheist, tells us that it was during this
stage of Step Five that he first actually felt the presence of God.
And even those who already had faith often become conscious of God
as they never were before.

12 & 12, p. 62

***********************************************************

Walk in Dry Places
 
Dealing with Fear____ Challenges
Some of us suffer from a free-floating anxiety that is like a general fear, while others have specific fears that cause distress.  Sometimes the specific fears are easier to face, because they can at least be identified. Most of us dread that other kind--- a sort of general apprehension that things are not well or that something very bad is about to happen.
It's reasonable to have some fear when facing trouble or risk. It's unreasonable, however, to let fear keep us from acting in our own best interests. A review of the past may show that may of us did that while drinking--  and brought even more calamities upon ourselves.
Whatever the fear, the answer is always the same.  We must apply our principles to the problem, take ay reasonable action and then place the outcome in God's hands.  No person can do more than this.
This will not bring permanent victory over fear.  It will however, give us confidence in the program as a tool for dealing with fears that arise in the future.
I may have to deal with fear today, but I will accept it as part of the human condition.   I know that I have great spiritual resources to deal with any fear that might arise, and this gives me confidence and reassurance.

***********************************************************

Keep It Simple

Anyone who follows a middle course is called a sage.--- Maimonides
Much of the wisdom of our program is about how to live in the middle. We learn how to pause and think before we act. We ask, "What is the best way to handle this?" We look for the smooth part of the road. Our actions tell us who we are. We listen to our actions, and we think about them. This listening and thinking takes time. This slows us down. It's good for us. It gives us time to talk with our Higher Power. After all, we want our actions to come from the new values our Higher Power has given us. Thus, over time we act and feel wiser. The wisdom of the program becomes part of who we are.
Prayer for the Day:  I pray that I I don't get caught up in the rush of the day. Higher Power, teach me to stop and think, to seek Your wisdom.
Action for the Day:  Today, I'll set aside time to think, meditate, and be alone. I will listen to what's inside me.

***********************************************************

Each Day a New Beginning

I stand before you as a tower of strength, the weight of the world on my shoulders. As you pass through my life, look, but not too close, for I fear I will expose the vulnerable me.  --Deidra Sarault
Vulnerability is as much a part of being human as is strength. Our vulnerability prevents our strength from becoming hard, brittle, self-serving. Our soft edges invite others' openness and their expressions of love.
We learned long ago to be "strong." We were encouraged to need no help, to need nobody. Now, we struggle to ask for help. As we grow in understanding of our human needs, and as we become more aware of the spiritual help available, the difficulty of reaching out to others is eased.
No longer need we look to pills, booze, food, or lovers for strength. All the strength we'll ever need is as close as our thoughts. At this moment, we are a tower of strength, not one weighted with burdens. Rather, our strength is a gift of our connection to a spiritual power that can free us from all the troubles we shoulder. Our vulnerable selves will open our souls to the flood of strength just waiting for our prayers.
I will be as strong as I need to be, when I tap the spiritual source that awaits my call. I will risk my vulnerable self today.

***********************************************************

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 8 - TO WIVES

If you and your husband find a solution for the pressing problem of drink you are, of course, going to very happy. But all problems will not be solved at once. Seed has started to sprout in a new soil, but growth has only begun. In spite of your new-found happiness, there will be ups and downs. Many of the old problems will still be with you. This is as it should be.

p. 117

***********************************************************

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

He Sold Himself Short

But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself.  Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago.

The meeting lasted an hour and closed with the Lord's Prayer.  After it was closed, we all retired to the kitchen and had coffee and doughnuts and more discussion until the small hours of the morning.

p. 262

***********************************************************

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs."

Then perhaps life, as it has a way of doing, suddenly hands us a great big lump that we can't begin to swallow, let alone digest. We fail to get a worked-for promotion. We lose that good job. Maybe there are serious domestic or romantic difficulties, or perhaps that boy we thought God was looking after becomes a military casualty.
What then? Have we alcoholics in A.A. got, or can we get, the resources to meet these calamities which come to so many? These were problems of life which we could never face up to. Can we now, with the help of God as we understand Him, handle them as well and as bravely as our nonalcoholic friends often do? Can we transform these calamities into assets, sources of growth and comfort to ourselves and those about us? Well, we surely have a chance if we switch from "two-stepping" to "twelve-stepping," if we are willing to receive that grace of God which can sustain and strengthen us in any catastrophe.

p. 113

***********************************************************

"If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not
sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome."
--Anne Bradstreet

We can find no better insurance policy, than working a diligent
program.
--SweetyZee

Today, I will come back to balance with any need or want that seems
to be controlling my life. Instead of dwelling on it, I'll give it to God
and focus on taking care of myself.
--Melody Beattie

God is the only constant.
--Ruth Casey

At times fear grips me and I can concentrate only on the anxiety.
Then I realize I am in God's care and I need only trust and the fear
subsides.
--Michele Fedderly

***********************************************************

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

CHILDLIKE

"In every real man a child is
hidden that wants to play."
--Friedrich Nietzsche

My spiritual program means that I can play and have fun in my life. I
am forty years old and I can still enjoy going on the swings in the park.
But more importantly I have a daily sense of adventure. My eyes light
up as I ask: How? When? Where? These words still dominate my life.

I can still get excited about life; I can still get excited about my life.

God is forever present in His world of color, movement and change.
But for me God is most clearly seen in people. They are a constant
fascination for me. Part of my play involves people-watching and as I
gaze my mouth still opens in amazement. The child in me still enjoys
the world in which I play.

Thank You for toys, people and "difference" because they add color
to my life.

***********************************************************

Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free,
and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.
Galatians 5:1

For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use
liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one
another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: You
shall love your neighbor as yourself. But if you bite and devour
one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!
Galatians 5:13-15

***********************************************************

Daily Inspiration

Each day offers many situations for accomplishment, joy, change and personal growth. Lord, grant me the ability to recognize these moments and the energy to benefit from these daily opportunities.

God knows what is best for you in all matters of your life. Rely on His wisdom. Lord, I place my trust in You because You answer every prayer.

***********************************************************

NA Just For Today

Are We Having Fun Yet?

"In time, we can relax and enjoy the atmosphere of recovery."
Basic Text, pp. 53-54

Imagine what would happen if a newcomer walked into one of our meetings and was met by a group of grim-faced people gripping the arms of their chairs with white knuckles. That newcomer would probably bolt, perhaps muttering, "I thought I could get off drugs and be happy."

Thankfully, our newcomers are usually met by a group of friendly, smiling folks who are obviously fairly content with the lives they've found in Narcotics Anonymous. What an enormous amount of hope this provides! A newcomer, whose life has been deadly serious, is strongly attracted by an atmosphere of laughter and relaxation. Coming from a place where everything is taken seriously, where disaster always waits around the next corner, it's a welcome relief to enter a room and find people who generally don't take themselves too seriously, who are ready for something wonderful.

We learn to lighten up in recovery. We laugh at the absurdity of our addiction. Our meetings—those rooms filled with the lively, happy sounds of percolating coffee, clattering chairs, and laughing addicts—are the gathering places where we first welcome our newcomers and let them know that, yes, we're having fun now.

Just for today: I can laugh at myself. I can take a joke. I will lighten up and have some fun today.

***********************************************************

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
"Take it away at once," stormed the Princess, stamping her tiny foot in its embroidered slipper. "I hate real flowers; their petals fall off and they die." --Hans Christian Andersen
If love is reserved for things that never die, love is doomed to die. If flowers fade in a minute or two, will not stones wear to sand in time? Even this earth, this garden of life, one day will be like the dust of stars. We must walk gratefully, carefully on it now. Now is the lifetime that passes here, now is the best of all days; now is the flower's eternity in the sun, our chance of a lifetime.
This is all we have, this moment. Within it, anything can be done, any dream fulfilled, if we only use it well. Why hold back? There is nothing to stop us.
What can I do to use this moment well?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Little importance has been given to body awareness. The emphasis is on achievement rather than awareness. Yet it is only those athletes who have a highly developed kinesthetic sense - muscle sense - who ever achieve high levels of excellence.
--W. Timothy Gallwey
The outstanding athlete is guided by the feeling in his muscles and bones. He knows as he moves how much force to apply, how to place the ball on target, or how to dive gracefully. Competitiveness and achievement are useful in our lives. Winning provides us with motivation and fun. But when we give primary importance to being a winner, we weaken and lose balance.
Our balance is strengthened through more awareness in all aspects of our lives. If a ruler refused to hear news from a certain section of his country, his leadership would suffer. When we ignore our feelings and don't reflect on our daily lives, we become weaker and less adequate men. As we read this page today, we are opening ourselves to internal messages and opening the windows of awareness.
God, help me find more balance and learn to be more aware.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
I stand before you as a tower of strength, the weight of the world on my shoulders. As you pass through my life, look, but not too close, for I fear I will expose the vulnerable me. --Deidra Sarault
Vulnerability is as much a part of being human as is strength. Our vulnerability prevents our strength from becoming hard, brittle, self-serving. Our soft edges invite others' openness and their expressions of love.
We learned long ago to be "strong." We were encouraged to need no help, to need nobody. Now, we struggle to ask for help. As we grow in understanding of our human needs, and as we become more aware of the spiritual help available, the difficulty of reaching out to others is eased.
No longer need we look to pills, booze, food, or lovers for strength. All the strength we'll ever need is as close as our thoughts. At this moment, we are a tower of strength, not one weighted with burdens. Rather, our strength is a gift of our connection to a spiritual power that can free us from all the troubles we shoulder. Our vulnerable selves will open our souls to the flood of strength just waiting for our prayers.
I will be as strong as I need to be, when I tap the spiritual source that awaits my call. I will risk my vulnerable self today.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Feeling Good
Make yourself feel good.
Its our job to first make ourselves feel better and then make ourselves feel good. Recovery is not only about stopping painful feelings; it is about creating a good life for ourselves.
We don't have to deny ourselves activities that help us feel good. Going to meetings, basking in the sun, exercising, taking a walk, or spending time with a friend are activities that may help us feel good. We each have our list. If we don't we're now free to explore, experiment, and develop that list.
When we find a behavior or activity that produces a good feeling, put it on the list. Then, do it frequently.
Lets stop denying ourselves good feelings and start doing things that make us feel good.
Today, I will do one activity or behavior that I know will create a good feeling for me. If Im uncertain about what I like, I will experiment with one behavior today.


Today I feel my entire body energized by my powerful positive, thoughts. I feel alive and full of joy as I feed myself with loving and positive energy. --Ruth Fishel

************************************************** ***********

Journey to the Heart

Stay Open to Life

I have a tendency to be dogmatic. If I have an experience that’s unpleasant, I take a firm stand and say, I’ll never go through that again. I’ll never do that again. If something frightens me or I don’t understand it, I’ll push it away. Won’t even consider it. That won’t work for me, I say, sometimes before I know whether it will or not. Being dogmatic shuts us down and can shut life out.

The universe will challenge our prejudices,though. Without being certain how it happened,we may find ourselves doing the very thing we thought we never would, liking it, and hearing a quiet voice, the one that comes from our heart ask, What do you think now? When we’re open, we’ll find ourselves doing things, sharing things, experiencing things, and liking things we never thought we would or could.

Open your heart. Open your mind. Open to life and all it holds for you. Let the dogma dissolve.

************************************************** ***********

More Language Of Letting Go

Say when it’s worn out

Throw it away when it wears out.

John and Al were talking one day about a mutual friend, someone they both knew and liked. “Mark thinks he has to be in pain all the time,” John said. “He defines himself by his resentments. He’s always angry, always upset, and so deeply concerned about how terrible and tragic life is that he’s always pulling out his hair and wailing about life. I’m worried about him,” John said.

“Let him go,” Al said. “People need to wear things out. They need to take their time wearing out their beliefs and attitudes before they’re ready to throw them away. You’ve needed your time to do this. So have I. Give Mark the time he needs–however long that is– to wear his beliefs out too.”

Are you attached to any beliefs that are sabotaging your life– beliefs about your ability to be happy, joyous, and free? Life is a journey through places, through people, and through our beliefs. We wear these beliefs out one by one, shedding them amd making room for a little more light.

Give other people the time and freedom to wear out their beliefs. Give yourself that freedom,too.

Right now, this moment, you’re wearing out a belief. Look around at your life. Trust where you are. Trust what you’re going through. Some belief is wearing thin right now, as you read this. Say when it’s time to throw out that belief.

You are loveable. You are beautiful, just as you are. You have a purpose. There’s a plan for your life. You can take care of yourself. You can think, feel, and solve your problems. Sometimes life is hard, but it doesn’t have to be a struggle. And it doesn’t have to hurt that much and that long. Not anymore. You can detach, and you can detach in love.

Look in the mirror for a few moments. Instead of just being honest with yourself about what you see, be honest with yourself about what you believe about who you see.

God, help me let go of my limiting and sabotaging beliefs.

************************************************** ***********

Emerging Courageous
Walking Through Your Fear

The situations, activities, and individuals that frighten us remain static. Their relative intensity does not change. Fear, on the other hand, self-magnifies. It is when you are afraid and envisioning all that might go wrong that the energy underlying your fear grows. A tiny flicker of anxiety can easily develop into a terror that manifests itself physically and eventually paralyzes you into inaction. Though frequently, in walking through that fear, we discover that the strength of our fright was out of synch with reality. And we learn that doing what frightens us can lead to great blessings. Confronting your trepidation head-on will help you accept that few frightening scenarios will ever live up to the negative disasters that we sometimes play out in our minds.

Though fear is literally an evolutionary gift meant to sharpen your senses and energize you during times of great stress, it can nonetheless become a barrier that prevents you from fulfilling your potential by causing you to miss out on rewarding, life-changing experiences. During the period before you face your fear, you may have to deal with a barrage of negative thoughts and emotions. Walking through it, whether your fear is public speaking, taking part in an activity that makes you nervous, or asserting yourself when the odds are against you, may be equally as difficult. But once you have emerged unscathed on the other side, which you will, you will likely wonder why you assumed the worst in the first place. As you spend time worrying about what might happen, it’s good to know that your fear probably won’t happen at all. It may feel like a great weight has been lifted from your shoulders, and you will likely feel a sense of passionate pride. Walking through your fear can! mean taking risks and can require both practice and patience. Since it is challenging to act when you are gripped with fear, start small.

Each step you take into fear will strengthen you and help you confront future fears with poise, courage, and confidence. You will also find that when you are willing to stare your fear in the face, the universe will always offer you some form of aid or support. When you see the heights of accomplishment and personal evolution you can attain when you walk through your fears, your faith in yourself will grow, allowing your next step to be easier. Published with permission from Daily OM

************************************************** ***********

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

So many of us suffer from despair. Yet we don’t realize that despair is purely the absence of faith. As long as we’re willing to turn to God for help in our difficulties, we cannot despair. When we’re troubled and can’t see a way out, it’s only because we imagine that all solutions depend on us. The Program teaches us to let go of overwhelming problems and let God handle them for us. When I consciously surrender my will to God’s will, do I see faith at work in my life?

Today I Pray

May I be free of despair and depression, those two “down D’s” that are the result of feelings of helplessness. May I know that I am never without the help of God, that I am never helpless when He is with me. If I have faith, I need never be “helpless and hopeless.”

Today I Will Remember

Despair is the absence of Faith.

************************************************** ***********

One More Day

Troubles, like babies, grow larger by nursing.
– Lady Holland

The more we allow ourselves to fret about our troubles, the larger they appear to grow. Soon they are blown out of proportion.

Perhaps we need to set some time aside each day specifically for worrying. It’s much easier to put our worrisome thoughts out of our minds if we know that we will deal with them at a certain time every day. This “worry time” will also give us the chance to decide whether we have any control over these problems or whether we should just let them go. None of us is without problems, and if we address them with some serious thinking time each day, we should be able to free our minds for some of the more important things in our lives — like personal growth and development of values.

I will strike a happy balance between worries and joys.

************************************

Food For Thought

Communicating

If we do not tell people what is troubling us, they cannot help. We have sometimes been too proud or too shy to let others know what we were feeling. Rather than trying to communicate with those close to us, we ate. Eating instead of communicating further increased our isolation and unhappiness.

Exposing our feelings makes us vulnerable, and we often fear that we will be hurt or rejected. We may be trying to preserve a false image of ourselves as self-sufficient and free of problems. Whatever the reasons for our unwillingness to communicate, we are cheating ourselves. By "clamming up," we cut ourselves off from the care and support of those who love us.

Honest sharing between individuals opens the way for growth and change. By expressing our thoughts and feelings out loud to another person, we become better able to understand and deal with whatever is bothering us. More important, we deepen our relationships with family and friends when we are willing to communicate on a meaningful level.

Give me courage to communicate.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

EXPECTATIONS
“The best thing about the future
is that it only comes one day at a time."
Abraham Lincoln

Being a rational, logical person I have always worked from the premise that If I did something then the following would be the outcome and maybe in the scientific world that may have been true. But in the real world of relationships and people it certainly doesn't work like that as I have discovered since coming into program. As it says in the Big Book "serenity is inversely proportional to one's expectations" and I know now how true this is.

Just recently after having set a boundary with my son I was expecting all sorts of repercussions and imagined him trying to talk me out of my decision and the result was that I lost my serenity and became really anxious. Of course the truth was nowhere like I had imagined and the situation ended very differently from what I had expected. This was a lesson to me once again that things don't turn out the way we expect them to but the way they are meant to.

One day at a time...
When I let go of any expectations I have of how a situation is going to turn out, I get to keep my serenity and the situation turns out the way it's supposed to.
~ Sharon S.

*****************************************

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. 'Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?' As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. It has been repeatedly proven among us that upon this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built. - Pg. 47 - We Agnostics

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Regaining the natural habit of sleeping takes time. If you are tired right now from lack of sleep, it is normal. As long as you don't 'take' anything for it, you will be OK. Rest, pray, and know that it won't always be so difficult.

Give me a quiet spirit to meet the times when I don't have all the sleep I think I need.

Fear

Today, I allow myself to experience my fears as fears. I don't need to let them control and color the circumstances of my life. They are real, and it is understandable that I have them. Healing can mobilize my deep fears, they come up more intensely than normal. But this is a part of my process, and growth and healing aren't neat and tidy. When I am very afraid, I will comfort myself or seek comfort from someone else. I will understand that even though I fear the worst, the worst will not necessarily happen. My feelings feel very powerful inside me, but they are not facts. I can survive my fears and understand that they will pass.

I have compassion for the fearful part of me.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

If God is your co-pilot, switch seats! (Anonymous Sage) There is something special waiting for you to do today that won't get done if you are flying around doing your own thing.

When I let my Higher Power pilot my life, I know that inspiration will guide my actions and that 'special something' will get done.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

You are less likely to fall into temptation if you don't walk along the edge.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I feel my entire body energized by my powerful positive, thoughts. I feel alive and full of joy as I feed myself with loving and positive energy.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

The first drink I ever had I realized what my problem was: I had an alcohol deficiency. - Trip S.

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AA Thought for the Day

May 6

Communication
Because of our kinship in suffering,
and because our common means of deliverance are effective for ourselves
only when constantly carried to others,
our channels of contact have always been charged with the language of the heart.
- The Language Of The Heart, p. 243

Thought to Ponder . . .
Modem-to-modem or face-to-face,
AA's speak the language of the heart.

AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
E S H = Experience, Strength and Hope.

~*~A.A. Thoughts For The Day~*~

Control
"Most of us have been unwilling to admit
we were real alcoholics.
No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally
different from his fellows.
Therefore, it is not surprising
that our drinking careers have been characterized
by countless vain attempts to prove
we could drink like other people.
The idea that somehow, someday he will control
and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession
of every abnormal drinker.
The persistence of this illusion is astonishing.
Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death."
Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 30

Thought to Consider . . .
When a person tries to control their drinking
they have already lost control.

*~*~*AACRONYMS*~*~*
STEPS
Solutions To Every Problem in Sobriety

*~*~*~*~*^Just For Today!^*~*~*~*~*

Honesty
From "Our Survival:"
"The HONESTY expressed by the members of A.A. in meetings has the power to open my mind. Nothing can block the
flow of energy that HONESTY carries with it. The only obstacle to this flow of energy is inebriation, but even then, no
one will find a closed door if he or she has left and chooses to return. Once he or she has received the gift of sobriety,
each A.A. member is challenged on a daily basis to accept a program of HONESTY."
1990, Daily Reflections, page 311

*~*~*~*~*^ Grapevine Quote ^*~*~*~*~*

It doesn't matter who or what God is if I can just remember it's not me!"
Ranchester, Wyo., May 2012
"Sunsets -- Not My Idea,"
AA Grapevine

~*~*~*~*^ Big Book & Twelve N' Twelve Quotes of the Day ^*~*~*~*~*

"We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and
express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than
ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that
Power, which is God."
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, pg. 46~

"Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or
trying on our own power. We had to have God's help."
Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 62

Step Four is our vigorous and painstaking effort to discover what these liabilities in each of us have been, and are.
-Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions p. 42

Misc. AA Literature - Quote

'Admitted to God . . . '
Provided you hold back nothing in taking the Fifth Step, your sense of relief will mount from minute to minute. The
dammed-up emotions of years break out of their confinement, and miraculously vanish as soon as they are exposed.
As the pain subsides, a healing tranquility takes its place. And when humility and serenity are so combined, something
else of great moment is apt to occur. TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 62

Prayer For The Day: Dear Father, I thank you for helping me when I need it most. I pray you help me help others when they are in need.