***********************************************************

As Bill Sees It

"POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL", p.283

I had gone steadily downhill, and on that day in 1934 I lay upstairs
in the hospital, knowing for the first time that I was utterly
hopeless.

Lois was downstairs, and Dr. Silkworth was trying in his gentle way to
tell her what was wrong with me and that I was hopeless. "But Bill has
a tremendous amount of will power," she said. "He has tried
desperately to get well. We have tried everything. Doctor, why can't
he stop?"

He explained that my drinking, once a habit, had become an obsession,
a true insanity that condemned me to drink against my will.

********************************

"In the late stages of our drinking, the will to resist has fled. Yet
when we admit complete defeat and when we become entirely ready
to try A.A. principles, our obsession leaves us and we enter a new
dimension-freedom under God as we understand Him."

1. A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 52
2. LETTER, 1966

***********************************************************

Walk In Dry Places
 
A fatal Feature of alcoholism
Admitting defeat
Part of alcoholism's deadliness lies in its peculiar tendency to blind the victim to the hopelessness of the situation. Time and again, AA members meet people who are in the final stages of their disease, yet are still clinging to the fallacy  that things are not as bad as they seem.  Indeed, many alcoholics who have engineered their own ruin still believe they are either victims of bad luck or of malevolent action by others.
Let's remember, however, that others might not be so fortunate. We must not criticize them for not being able to accept the hopelessness of their condition. We should also look for our own blind spots about others problems in our lives.
I'll remember today that only the 12 Step program arrested my fatal disease and keeps it at bay.  I'll feel kndly toward others who are having trouble admitting defeat; maybe this is the day it will happen for them.

***********************************************************

Keep It Simple
 
Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not words.---Alfred Adler
Being sober is an event. Being sober also means movement. We go to meetings. We find and meet with a sponsor. We talk with friends. If we don’t act in these ways were not sober.
Our actions also tell us if we’re leading a spiritual life. What do you do when you see someone in need? Spirituality means helping. It’s not just kind words.
In Step Four and Ten, we check out our action, not our words. Our actions will tell us if we’re on the recovery path.
Prayer for the Day:  Higher Power, help me to not hide in words. I pray for the strength to take the right action. Help me walk a sober path.
Action for the Day:  Today as I work Step Ten, I’ll focus only on my actions How have I acted sober today?

***********************************************************

Each Day a New Beginning

...there are two entirely opposite attitudes possible in facing the problems of one's life. One, to try and change the external world, the other, to try and change oneself.  --Joanna Field
God grant us the courage to change what we can--ourselves. How difficult it is to let go of our struggles to control and change someone else. How frequently we assume that everything would be fine if only someone else would change. All that needs to change is an attitude, our own.
Taking responsibility for improving one's own life is an important step toward emotional health. Blaming another for our circumstances keeps us stuck and offers no hope for improved conditions. Personal power is as available as our decision to use it. And it is bolstered by all the strength we'll ever need. The decision to take our lives in hand will exhilarate us. The decision each day to be thoughtful, prayerful, and wholly responsible for all that we do will nourish our developing selves. Each responsible choice moves us toward our wholeness, strengthening our sense of self, our well-being.
I will change only who I can today: myself.

***********************************************************

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Foreword To Second Edition

Figures given in this foreword describe the Fellowship as it was in 1955.

As we discovered the principles by which the individual alcoholic could live, so we had to evolve principles by which the A.A. groups and A.A. as a whole could survive and function effectively. It was thought that no alcoholic man or woman could be excluded from our Society; that our leaders might serve but never govern; that each group was to be autonomous and there was to be no professional class of therapy. There were to be no fees or dues; our expenses were to be met by our own voluntary contributions. There was to be the least possible organization, even in our service centers. Our public relations were to be based upon attraction rather than promotion. It was decided that all members ought to be anonymous at the level of press, radio, TV and films. And in no circumstances should we give endorsements, make alliances or enter public controversies.

p. xix

***********************************************************

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

My Chance To Live

A.A. gave this teenager the tools to climb out of her dark abyss of despair.

I'm convinced if I had continued on my course, I wouldn't have survived much longer.  I don't believe I was smarter than anyone else, as I'm often told by those who came in at a later age.  It was my time, my chance to live, and I took it.  If there had still been joy in my drinking or even a remote chance of the joy returning, I would not have stopped drinking when I did.

p. 316

***********************************************************

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Foreword

Many people, nonalcoholics, report that as a result of the practice of A.A.'s Twelve Steps, they have been able to meet other difficulties of life. They think that the Twelve Steps can mean more than sobriety for problem drinkers. They see in them a way to happy and effective living for many, alcoholic or not.

pp. 15-16

***********************************************************

Be still and listen to the stillness within.
You must look into people, as well as at them.
--Lord Chesterfield

There is one thing worse than waiting on God... it's wishing you had.
--unknown

God is never in a hurry.
--unknown

"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies."
--Mother Teresa

"When you see the value of continued growth, the circumstances around you become
stepping stones."
--Clyde M. Narrimore

The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your
knees and the floor. The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything.
--unknown

***********************************************

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

DISCOVERY

"I invent nothing. I rediscover."
-- Auguste Rodin

I believe that spirituality is given to every human being and we need only discover it in
our lives to experience its power. The history of my life has been more of a "cycle" than
a straight line leading into the distance. I am constantly returning to past events,
reminiscences and experiences that were part of my yesterdays but converge into my
present. I am rediscovering my yesterdays in my todays; the fruits of my tomorrows are
planted within today.

So it seems that my journey is not simply forward. It also involves a rediscovery of
yesterday in today. My life is a mystery that exists within God.

O Lord, with You eternity is ever present and occasionally I get a glimpse of it.

***********************************************************

"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge."
Psalm 91:4

"Behold what manner of love the father hath bestowed upon us that we should be called
the children of God."
1 John 3:1

Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness,
knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control,
perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness,
brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.
2 Peter 1:5-7

***********************************************************

Daily Inspiration

Think good and wise thoughts over and over again until you make them your own. Lord, You have given me a strong foundation and the strength to stand firm for what I believe.

Never make the mistake of taking more credit than is due or less credit than you are worth. Lord, You have created me in Your image. Therefore, I am goodness and with You can accomplish great things.

***********************************************************

NA Just For Today

Being Right

"When we admit that our lives have become unmanageable, we don't have to argue our point of view... We no longer have to be right all the time."

Basic Text p. 56

Nothing isolates us more quickly from the warmth and camaraderie of our fellow NA members than having to be "right." Insecure, we pretend to be some kind of authority figure. Suffering from low self-esteem, we try to build ourselves up by putting others down. At best, such tactics push others away from us; at worst, they draw attack. The more we try to impress others with how "right" we are, the more wrong we become.

We don't have to be "right" to be secure; we don't have to pretend to have all the answers for others to love or respect us. In fact, just the opposite is true. None of us have all the answers. We depend upon one another to help bridge the gaps in our understanding of things, and we depend upon a Power greater than our own to make up for our personal powerlessness. We live easily with others when we offer what we know, admit what we don't, and seek to learn from our peers. We live securely in ourselves when we cease relying on our own power and start relying on the God we've come to understand in recovery.

We don't have to be "right" all the time, just recovering.

Just for today: God, I admit my powerlessness and the unmanageability of my life. Help me live with others as an equal, dependent upon you for direction and strength.

pg. 298

***********************************************************

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard; but our own is worth a hundred of it. . . . --Mark Twain
There was once a young girl who thought that if only she tried a little harder, she could please her parents; if only she were prettier, her friends would like her better. She tried constantly to gain their approval. Sometimes they said they liked her, and sometimes they didn't.
Then one night a fairy came to her in a dream and told her, "You are fine just the way you are. You don't have to change. I want you to start noticing your own beauty and loving yourself exactly the way you are."
Doing what the fairy suggested--giving love and approval to herself--wasn't easy, but she found that when she did it she felt a peace that was not dependent on what others thought. She thanked her fairy for caring enough to come and give her such wise advice.
What are some things I like about myself?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I resolve to meet evil courageously, but when even a small temptation cometh, I am in sore straits. That which seemeth trifling sometimes giveth rise to a grievous temptation. --Thomas a' Kempis
Even in recovery, we know we are vulnerable men, always subject to a return to old patterns. Sometimes we can understand the triggering event; other times there is no apparent reason for temptation to reappear. Perhaps it comes when we least expect it, when our guard is lowest. We may be tempted simply because we are addicts or codependents. Our powerlessness reminds us of our need for faithfulness to the program.
When we think we have moved beyond the draw of old behaviors, we veer away from our path of recovery. In saying we have grown out of our powerlessness, or that our resolve can now protect us, we are heading back into old troubles. Admitting the truth is unsettling. It also makes us more honest, more accessible, more spiritual, and more ready to deal with threats to our recovery.
I live with my powerlessness every day. Help me admit it to myself.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
...there are two entirely opposite attitudes possible in facing the problems of one's life. One, to try and change the external world, the other, to try and change oneself. --Joanna Field
God grant us the courage to change what we can--ourselves. How difficult it is to let go of our struggles to control and change someone else. How frequently we assume that everything would be fine if only someone else would change. All that needs to change is an attitude, our own.
Taking responsibility for improving one's own life is an important step toward emotional health. Blaming another for our circumstances keeps us stuck and offers no hope for improved conditions. Personal power is as available as our decision to use it. And it is bolstered by all the strength we'll ever need. The decision to take our lives in hand will exhilarate us. The decision each day to be thoughtful, prayerful, and wholly responsible for all that we do will nourish our developing selves. Each responsible choice moves us toward our wholeness, strengthening our sense of self, our well-being.
I will change only who I can today: myself.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Being Gentle with Ourselves
During Times of Grief
The process of adapting to change and loss takes energy. Grief is draining, sometimes exhausting. Some people need to "cocoon for transformation," in Pat Carnes's words, while going through grief.
We may feel more tired than usual. Our ability to function well in other areas of our life may be reduced, temporarily. We may want to hide out in the safety of our bedroom.
Grief is heavy. It can wear us down.
It's okay to be gentle with ourselves when we're gong through change and grief. Yes, we want to maintain the disciplines of recovery. But we can be compassionate with ourselves. We do not have to expect more from ourselves than we can deliver during this time. We do not even have to expect as much from ourselves as we would normally and reasonably expect.
We may need more rest, more sleep, more comfort. We may be more needy and have less to give. It is okay to accept ourselves, and our changed needs, during times of grief, stress, and change.
It is okay to allow ourselves to cocoon during times of transformation. We can surrender to the process, and trust that a new, exciting energy is being created within us.
Before long, we will take wings and fly.
God, help me accept my changed needs during times of grief, change, and loss.


I do not let pain or discomfort stop me from looking at myself in a true and honest light. I do not run away from myself today or block or disguise my reality. I face my life fully today to learn from its lessons. --Ruth Fishel

************************************

Journey To The Heart
October 12
Trust Yourself to Know What’s Right

Sometimes we find ourselves with people or in places we can’t adapt to. No matter how hard we try, no matter how much we want it to, it just doesn’t feel right. Doesn’t fit. We are trying to jam the proverbial square peg into the round hole. Only what we’re trying to jam isn’t a block of wood– it’s us.

Sometimes in situations like these we revert to old ways of thinking, believing, and feeling. There must be something wrong with me if I don’t like this, if this isn’t working. If I try harder, control my emotions, jam a little harder, this square peg– me– will fit.

Those are the times we may begin to feel confused, weak, scattered, uncertain. We abandon ourselves. Our emotions disappear. Our passion wanes. We may begin sleeping, escaping, drifting further and further away. Our soul begins squirming in reaction to what we’re trying to force ourselves to do. We may become physically ill. It’s as though we’re allergic to our surroundings. Sometimes, we may spend years in this process– depending on what we’re afraid to face or what we’re afraid to lose. Other times, this process may only last hours or days,.

We can take as much time as we need to listen to and take care of ourselves. But if we love ourselves, we won’t torture ourselves for long, because we know we don’t have to. If a place or person or situation doesn’t work for us, that’s okay. We don’t have to punish ourselves. We don’t have to go away from ourselves. We can leave the situation.

Trust yourself– your body and your soul– to know what’s right for you. Learn to feel the energy of a situation, place, or person. If something feels right, you feel in harmony mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t abandon yourself. Leave the situation. Try something else until you do feel right.

You may not always know at first when a thing, place, or person is wrong for you. But if you listen to your body and trust your heart, you can learn to tell when it’s right.

*****

more language of letting go
See it and let it go

This is a reminder. While you're using your imagination, embracing your dreams, and spending your time visualizing positive performance, don't forget to let go.

Don't worry about how things will come to pass. Your part is seeing the best for yourself. Then return to the details of your daily life.

It's safe to let go and let God. Just because we have the creative powers to imagine doesn't mean we have to control the rest. Say, I see, then let it go.

Let God work the manifest.

God, after I've seen my dreams and visualizations, help me give them back to you.

*****

Expressions of the Heart
Creating Meaningful Homemade Gifts

The gifts we craft with our own hands are often the most significant because the love that drove us to create is infused in the products of our creation. And the recipients of these homemade offerings receive a token of our willingness to invest ourselves in their joy. Allow these ideas to inspire you:

1. When you craft a beautifully decorated prayer box (or jar) for loved ones, you give them the gift of spiritual awareness. As you share this gift, explain that it should serve as a receptacle for their hopes, dreams, and loves—as well as worries—and thus a reminder of who they were, are, and will someday be.

2. If you love journaling, share your writing joy with family and friends by giving each a unique, handmade personal journal. A simple spiral notebook dressed up with paper, fabric, photographs, or other embellishments will give your loved ones a special place to record their private thoughts.

3. Erase the distance between yourself and your far away loved ones by presenting each with a photo journal documenting how your life has changed in the past year. Or introduce them to your locale with a homemade guidebook that highlights everything you love about your town or city.

4. When you sew medicine bags for the people you care about, you can rest assured your gift will always be close to their hearts. A small pouch can be filled with many meditative or symbolic items, such as quartz crystals, sage, or magical objects.

5. A progressive photo album, wherein pictures tell the story of your relationships from the past up to the present, can be a simple yet poignant reminder of the many wonderful experiences you and your loved ones have shared over the years.

6. Give the gift of serenity with a guided meditation you create and record to CD or tape. Your loved ones will take pleasure in being led through tranquil landscapes by the soothing sound of your voice.

7. Hand-crafted ornaments that can be hung on trees, in windows, and on walls afford you an opportunity to surround the important people in your life with beauty. Whether you prefer to work with clay, crystals, fabric, baked dough, or natural objects, your gift can serve as a calming focal point in your loved ones’ homes.

Whether you choose to give a gift or simply share your friendship and love, remember that it is the intention behind the thought that is most important. Published with permission from Daily OM

************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Many people we meet in The Program radiate a kind of special glow — a joy for living that shows in their faces and very bearing. They’ve put aside alcohol and other mood-altering chemicals and have progressed to the point where they’re “high” on life itself. Their confidence and enthusiasm are contagious — especially to those who are new in The Program. The astonishing thing to newcomers is that those same joyous people also were once heavily burdened. The miracle of their before-and-after stories and new outlook is living proof that The Program works. Does my progress in The Program serve to carry the message to others?

Today I Pray

I pray that my own transformation through The Program — from burdened to unburdened, beaten down to unbeat, careless to caring, tyrannized by chemicals to chemically free -0- will be as much inspiration for newcomers as the dramatic changes to other’ lives have been for me. May I — like those other joyous ones in the fellowship — learn how to be “high on life.”

Today I Will Remember

Life is the greatest “high” of them all.

************************************

One More Day

Joy . . . is found only in the good things of the soul.
– Philo

Every day has its ups and downs — its good and bad moments. The joys that today offers must be personally claimed, by each of us, or they will pass by unnoticed.

The events that cause a joyful experience are different for all individuals. We sometimes share joyful experiences with other people. Watching an infant walk for the first time can be a shared joy and a lasting memory. Recognizing that our friends, or perhaps even ourselves, have found help in dealing with personal problems or harmful behaviors can also be joyful experiences.

Joy can also be a private time — fishing on a lovely morning, watching the petals of a flow unfold, or being part of a growing relationship. All contribute to our sense of well-being.

In this day, I will be aware of the people and activities that give me joy.

************************************

Food For Thought

Moving Forward

Time past is gone forever, and we can never go back to it. Even our disease progresses forward. We cannot expect to control it by a return to measures, which may have worked for a time in the past. Those methods eventually failed, and trying them again will only bring us to the same point of failure.

The only way to avoid repetitious failure is to move forward creatively as our Higher Power leads us. Each day is a new creation, and each day brings new lessons and opportunities. We build on what is past, but we do not need to repeat it.

Moving forward involves risking what is unknown. The old, familiar rut, depressing as it is, is a known quantity. Moving out of it requires that we have courage and that we trust in One who knows and cares. To move on, we must act. Insights do not produce growth until they are accompanied by specific actions.

May I risk new actions as You lead me forward.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

GRIEF
“To spare oneself from grief at all cost
can be achieved only at the price of a total detachment,
which excludes the ability to experience happiness.”
Erich Fromm

In the years before program I lived in a bland state of non-feeling and I ran away from all painful emotions, especially loss and grief. Of course my drug of choice was always there to keep the painful emotions at bay. Whenever I experienced any kind of loss, I was always able to focus my attention on other things. Instead of feeling my own emotions, I focused on being strong for someone else whose loss I perceived to be greater than mine. For some strange reason I didn’t think I had the right to grieve.

After losing a beloved cat recently, I was overwhelmed by all the painful emotions of loss and grief. It was almost as though all of my previous losses were combined into this latest loss, but instead of running from my feelings, I allowed myself the luxury of grieving for my cat who was so special to me. This time I didn’t need to run away into my addiction. Of course it was hard and painful, but I know that allowing myself to feel even uncomfortable feelings like this is part of being alive and that means allowing myself to feel both the positive emotions and the negative ones.

One day at a time...
I will allow myself to feel both the good emotions and the bad ones. Because I have a program, I don’t need to blot them out with addictive behavior.
~ Sharon S.

*****************************************

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever ( with an without a solemn oath ), taking more exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums - we could increase the list ad infinitum. - Pg. 31 - More About Alcoholism

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

We do not believe in blind following. As when Clement wrote 'faith must go hand in hand with inquiry.' If you do not 'get' something, ASK. Ask at meetings, ask a sober friend, ask your sponsor, or ask your Higher Power in meditation. Honest questions get honest answers.

God, as I understand You, right now I want to know ______________. Thank You for the answer I know I'll receive.

Fear

Today, I allow myself to experience my fears as fears, and not dictate or color my life circumstances because of them. They are real, and it is understandable that I have them. Healing mobilizes my deep fears, and they come up more intensely than ever. This is a part of my process of growth, and growth is not neat and tidy. When I am very afraid, I will comfort myself or seek comfort from someone else. I will understand that I am afraid and that even though I fear the worst, the worst will not necessarily happen. My feelings feel very powerful inside me, particularly when they have been repressed and are surfacing after many years, but they are not facts. I can survive my fears and understand that they will pass.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

'A boxer was in his corner on his knees praying, and someone asked a minister, 'Will that help him?' The minister replied, 'Not if he can't box.' ~Fr Joe M., (P 105, Alkiespeak)

God works with me, not for me.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

There is a big difference between being a mistake and making one.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

I do not let pain or discomfort stop me from looking at myself in a true and honest light.

I do not run away from myself today or block or disguise my reality.

I face my life fully today to learn from its lessons.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

After all is said and done. More is said than done. Anon.

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AA Thought for the Day

October 12

Vulnerable
Mistakes are made in any form of human endeavor. Some of them are grievous or catastrophic.
Alcoholism can be arrested -- not cured. . . .
There is no guaranteed preventive against the first drink and any dry alcoholic whose thinking becomes muddled can

be vulnerable.
... and when we take the first constructive step toward self-forgiveness, the healing has begun.
When one comes to end -- one can also come to a beginning.
- The AA Grapevine, May 1955

Thought to Ponder . . .
If I self-forget I find.

AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
G R A C E = Gently Releasing All Conscious Expectations.

~*~A.A. Thoughts For The Day~*~

Helpfulness
"Your job now is to be at the place where you may be
of maximum helpfulness to others,
so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful.
You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth
on such an errand.
Keep on the firing line of life with these motives
and God will keep you unharmed."
Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 102.

Thought to Consider . . .
We in AA don't carry the alcoholic; we carry the message.

*~*~*AACRONYMS*~*~*
H O P E = Help Open People's Eyes

*~*~*~*~*^Just For Today!^*~*~*~*~*

Basics
>From "New Selves Unfolding":
"However, the First Step and I have always been great friends. I repeated it every five seconds and thanked God each day for my sobriety, the only grace, maybe, for that day.
"Gradually, I began to see another part of me emerging a grateful me, expecting nothing, but sure that another power was beginning to guide me, counsel me, and direct my ways. Barberton, Ohio, USA"
1973 AAWS, Inc.; Came to Believe, 30th printing 2004, pg. 45

*~*~*~*~*^ Grapevine Quote ^*~*~*~*~*

"The temptations of riches could sometimes be worse than the pains of poverty."
AA Co-Founder, Bill W., December 1957
"The Greatest Gift of All"
The Language of the Heart

*~*~*~*~*^ Big Book & Twelve N' Twelve Quotes of the Day ^*~*~*~*~*

"If there be divorce or separation, there should be no undue haste
for the couple to get together. The man should be sure of his
recovery. The wife should fully understand his new way of life. If
their old relationship is to be resumed it must be on a better basis,
since the former did not work. This means a new attitude and spirit
all around. Sometimes it is to the best interests of all concerned
that a couple remain apart. Obviously, no rule can be laid down.
Let the alcoholic continue his program day by day. When the time for
living together has come, it will be apparent to both parties."
Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, Working With Others, Page 99

"If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of God. He may choose any conception he likes, providing it makes sense to him. The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live be spiritual principles."
Alcoholics Anonymous, pg 93

It is not the matter of giving that is in question, but when and how to give.
-Alcoholics Anonymous p.98

We saw that we would need to give constantly of ourselves without demands for repayment.
-Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions p. 116

Misc. AA Literature - Quote

The alarming thing about pride-blindness is the ease with which it is justified. But we need not look far to see that self-justification is a universal destroyer of harmony and of love. It sets man against man, nation against nation. By it, every form of folly and violence can be made to look right, and even respectable.
It would be a product of false pride to claim that A.A. is a cure-all, even for alcoholism.

Prayer for the Day: As I Think - Higher Power, today with Your help I'll remember: As I think, I travel; and as I love, I attract. I am today where my thoughts have brought me; I will be tomorrow where my thoughts take me. I cannot escape the result of my thoughts, but I can endure and learn; I can accept and be glad. I will realize the vision (not the idle wish) of my heart, be it base or beautiful, or a mixture of both, for I will always gravitate towards that which I, secretly, most love. Into my hands will be placed the exact result of my thoughts. I will receive that which I earn, no more, no less. Whatever my present environment may be, I will fall, remain, or rise with my thoughts, my wisdom, my attitudes. I will become as small as my controlling desire; as great as my dominant aspiration.