SURRENDERING SELF-WILL

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to
the care of God as we understood Him.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 34

No matter how much one wishes to try, exactly how can
one turn his own will and his own life over to the care
of whatever God he thinks there is? In my search for
the answer to this question, I became aware of the
wisdom with which it was written: that this is a
two-part Step. I could see many times where I should
have died, or at least been injured, during my previous
style of living, and it never happened. Someone, or
something, was looking after me. I choose to believe
my life has always been in God's care. He alone controls
the number of days I will be granted until physical
death. The matter of will (self-will or God's will) is
the more difficult part of the Step for me. It is only
when I have experienced enough emotional pain, through
failed attempts to fix myself, that I become willing
to surrender to God's will for my life. Surrender is
like the calm after the storm. When my will is in line
with God's will for me, there is peace within. ***********************************************************

As Bill Sees It

Renew Your Effort, p. 68

"Though I know how hurt and sorry you must be after this slip, please
do not worry about a temporary loss of your inner peace. As calmly
as you can, just renew your effort in the A.A. program, especially
those parts of it which have to do with meditation and self-analysis.

"Could I also suggest that you look at excessive guilt for what it is?
Nothing but a sort of reverse pride. A decent regret for what has
happened is fine. But guilt--no.

"Indeed, the slip could well have been brought about by unreasonable
feelings of guilt because of other moral failures, so called. Surely,
you ought to look into this possibility. Even here you should not
blame yourself for failure; you can be penalized only for refusing to
try for better things."

Letter, 1958

***********************************************************

Walk in Dry Places
 
The Best outcome is just and equitable.
Principle over personality.
Looking ahead to this day, I may face a possible conflict with another person over a certain issue. How should I respond to this?
If I'm  to follow my principles, I should hold to the idea of seeking the best outcome for everybody concerned.  It may be very  harmful to look at these conflicts as a case of winning or losing. If I seem to win when I'm wrong, I will lose in the long run. If I seem to lose even when I'm right, I can know that there's just resolution of everything in time.  I will always win, however, if I keep my thinking straight and take care to avoid resentment and bitterness.
It's not surprising that the world is beset by conflicts. Millions of people have conditioned themselves to selfish ways of thinking and behaving that are bound to cause such conflicts. Much harm is done by people who are absolutely sure they are right at all times.
As human beings, we cannot expect to be excluded from these conflicts simply because we have a Twelve Step program. We do, however, have a means of dealing with such conflicts effectively when we respond according to principle.  This makes us privileged people in a way, but it is good to know that any person can have the same privileges by following the right principles.
Unpleasant as any conflict may seem, it does give me an opportunity to learn and to grow.  I will seek to benefit from any such conflict today.

***********************************************************

Keep It Simple

You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.---Irish Proverb
Each of us has been given recovery. Now it's up to each of us what we do with it. At times, we'll work hard to grow quickly. At other times, our growth will be slower. This is okay. We're not in a race. Our pace is not important. What is important is that we're always working on our recovery.
We're all part of a fellowship, a caring group. We're one of many. But we're each important. Each of us will have a special way to work our programs through our readings, friends, meetings, and what we know of how life works. each of us puts together a miracle of recovery. We than take our miracle and share it with others, so they can build their miracle.
Prayer for the Day:  Higher Power, help me work at growing. Help me be a person who is an important part of a group.
Action for the Day:  Today, I'll work at seeing myself as very important. I'll remind myself that other's recovery also depends on my recovery. I am needed.

***********************************************************

Each Day a New Beginning

I want to get you excited about who you are, what you are, what you have, and what can still be for you. I want to inspire you to see that you can go far beyond where you are right now.  --Virginia Satir
Deciding to recover was our first step. That decision meant we did want to go beyond where we were. We did want something better for ourselves. And at times, in fleeting moments, we have been excited about who we are and our prospects for a better life.
The excitement and the inspiration come and go; they are seldom stationary. We can actively create the excitement and the inspiration. We need not wait for them to come to us. That's one of the choices we have as human beings, as women.
Passively waiting for "the good life" is past behavior. Each day, this day, we can set our sights on reaching a goal--we can take a step, or two, toward that goal. Progress is there for the making--achievement is there for the taking.
Whatever our hearts' pure desires, we can move toward that goal. We are what we need to be. We have what we need to move ahead.
Today, I will let my excitement for life's possibilities spur me on.

***********************************************************

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS

Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. If you persist, remarkable things will happen. When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything we could have planned. Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances!

p. 100

***********************************************************

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

Jim's Story

This physician, one of the earliest members of A.A.'s first black group, tells of how freedom came as he worked among his people.

I got to the place where I'd look forward to the weekend's drinking and pacify myself by saying that the weekends were mine, that it didn't interfere with my family or my business if I drank on the weekends.  But the weekends stretched on into Mondays, and the time soon came when I drank every day.  My practice at that juncture was just barely getting us a living.

p. 237

***********************************************************

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Nine - "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."

There can only be one consideration which should qualify our desire for a complete disclosure of the damage we have done. That will arise in the occasional situation where to make a full revelation would seriously harm the one to whom we are making amends. Or--quite as important--other people. We cannot, for example, unload a detailed account of extramarital adventuring upon the shoulders of our unsuspecting wife or husband. And even in those cases where such a matter must be discussed, let's try to avoid harming third parties, whoever they may be. It does not lighten our burden when we recklessly make the crosses of others heavier.

p. 86

***********************************************************

Speaking without thinking is shooting without aiming.
--French Proverb

Help your brother across the stream and you'll find yourself on the
other side.

"You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than
you can by what others say about him."
--Leo Aikman

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word,
a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all
of which have the potential to turn a life around.
--Leo Buscaglia

Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody's heart.
--Anthony J. D'Angelo

Make the most of your life by choosing to enjoy everything you do.

God, help me open my heart to the full potential of every moment in my
life.
--Melody Beattie

"We aren't bodies at all; who we are is the love inside us, and it is that
love alone that determines our value. When our minds are filled with
light, there is no room for darkness."
--Marianne Williamson

Whether our sins are known or not, God offers us forgiveness.
--Charles P. Axe

***********************************************************

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

GREED

"Not he who has little, but he
who wishes more, is poor."
-- Seneca (4 B. C. -- A. D. 65)

In my recovery I must still deal with that compulsive side of my nature
that always wants more.

I forget to be grateful for what I have. I ruin relationships because I
have a code of behavior that I expect from others but not myself! I miss
the fun of the moment because I am preoccupied with what I am
missing elsewhere. I miss the comfort of my own home as I fantasize
about country mansions owned by millionaires. Always I want more ---
and yet in my own experience more has always been less.

Today I work hard on a spiritual program of gratitude. I have a
checklist of things I need to be grateful for; I work on my disease of
greed by talking about it.

Thank You for that part of me that must remain "poor".

***********************************************************

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be
exalted to the earth!"
Psalms 46:10

God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all.
1 John 1:5

Accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.
Romans 15:7

***********************************************************

Daily Inspiration

We all need time for ourselves and time to be with our friends in order to be joyful. Lord, help me to balance my day and renew my spirit.

Keep yourself young in spirit always by thinking new thoughts and getting rid of old habits. Lord, may my spirit never become frail and my abilities never become barren.

***********************************************************

NA Just For Today

Small Things

"In the past, we made simple situations into problems; we made mountains out of molehills."
Basic Text, p. 87

Making mountains out of molehills seems to be our specialty. Have you heard it said that to an addict, a flat tire is a traumatic event? Or how about those of us who forget all pretense of principle when confronted with a bad driver? And what about that can opener that won't work—you know, the one you just threw out the second story window? We can relate when we hear others share, "God, grant me patience right now!"

No, it's not the major setbacks that drive us to distraction. The big things—divorce, death, serious illness, the loss of a job—will throw us, but we survive them. We've learned from experience that we must reach out to our Higher Power and others to make it through life's major crises. It's the small things, the constant day-to-day challenges of living life without the use of drugs, that seem to affect most addicts most strongly in recovery.

When the little things get to us, the Serenity Prayer can help us regain our perspective. We can all remember that "turning over" these small matters to the care of our Higher Power results in peace of mind and a refreshed perspective on life.

Just for today: I will work on patience. I will try to keep from blowing things out of proportion, and walk with my Higher Power through my day.

***********************************************************

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
There is no such thing as a long piece of work, except one that you dare not start. --Charles Baudelaire
A big assignment can be scary to face. We may start to think that how we do on the assignment will determine if we're good or bad people. The more we think about it, the harder that task seems. The key to overcoming our negative feelings is to say to ourselves that we are capable of finishing our projects. We must say it over and over until we start believing it's true. Then we can attack the assignment with vitality and positive energy we didn't know we had.
We can make up our minds to do our best and accept that from ourselves. We say Edison was a genius, but our light bulbs still burn out regularly. Even Einstein was wrong once in a while, and he knew it, but that didn't stop him from trying.
When we feel afraid to start something because it seems too big a job, let's stop and think what the first step would be, and do each small step in its own time.
What can I start that I've been putting off?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own shin.
--Andre Berthiaume
The masks men wear are as varied as those who wear them, but their purpose is quite simple. We wear masks to hide our real faces from those around us and even from ourselves. There are seductive masks, innocent masks, white knight masks, tough guy masks, black sheep masks, lone wolf masks, and many more. Sometimes we want to take on another identity so others won't see our insecurities. Or we think taking the form of someone else will give us power over others, or they will like us better, or we can escape ourselves.
The cost of wearing a mask is not getting a chance to develop our real personalities. What masks are we attached to? Are we willing to give them up in the interest of our spiritual growth?
May I have the courage to drop my phony masks in order to grow stronger in self knowledge.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Taking Care of Ourselves
We cannot simultaneously set a boundary and take care of another persons feelings. Its impossible; the two acts contradict.
What a tremendous asset to have compassion for others! How difficult that same quality can make it to set boundaries!
Its good to care about other people and their feelings; its essential to care about ourselves too. Sometimes, to take good care of ourselves, we need to make a choice.
Some of us live with a deeply ingrained message from our family, or from church, about never hurting other peoples feelings. We can replace that message with a new one; one that says its not okay to hurt ourselves. Sometimes, when we take care of ourselves, others will react with hurt feelings.
That's okay. We will learn, grow, and benefit by the experience; they will too. The most powerful and positive impact we can have on other people is accomplished by taking responsibility for ourselves, and allows others to be responsible for themselves.
Caring works. Caretaking doesn't. We can learn to walk the line between the two.
Today, I will set the limits I need to set. I will let go of my need to take care of other peoples feelings and instead take care of my own. I will give myself permission to take care of myself, knowing its the best thing I can do for others and myself.


Today I know that I am in charge of the quality of my life. I am growing in the ability to become aware of the thoughts that have been controlling me. --Ruth Fishel

******************************************

Journey to the Heart

Let Your Visions Guide You

Visions are different from dreams. A vision is a picture that comes from the soul and comes out through the heart.

A vision is a small glimpse of light that shines and shows us our path. It is a quick flash of something that hasn’t happened yet. It may tell us something about today or ten years from now. Visions occur when our souls look at the map for our lives, get a sense of where we’re going, and tell our hearts how to find that place. The more conscious and clear and direct we are, the more we can tune into and help create the highest vision for our lives.

What do you want? What would feel right? What do you see yourself doing? Be clear and concise, then let it go. Sometimes when we run out of dreams, we have to rely on our visions, these small glimpses of light, to lead the way. Learn to see the visions in your heart. Learn to trust them. Learn to help create them. Allow them to manifest themselves. When the path is dark, learn to be comfortable with these small bursts of light.

Let your visions guide you home.

******************************************

More Language Of Letting Go

Know your limits

While it’s good to be compassionate, we can become overly compassionate,too. Don’t work so hard at not judging other people that you forget to pay attention to what you don’t like.

“I know what it feels like to be abandoned and left. I don’t like the feeling, so I’m not going to leave my boyfriend,” Clara says. She’s living with a man who abuses her, emotionally and physically.

“I’m not going to judge her,” Ralph says about his new wife. She’s using cocaine and stealing money from him to get high. “She’s had a hard life, and I haven’t walked in her shoes.”

“I need to be compassionate and nonjudgemental with my son,” Robert says about a child who’s driving him to distraction with his manipulations and lies. “He’s had a hard life. His mother died when he was three. And I’m the only person he’s got left.”

You can set boundaries with someone, without judging that person. You can decide that behaviors are inappropriate and hurt you, without condemning that person.

Don’t forget, you have a right to say “ouch.”

We can say whatever with compassion and still take care of ourselves.

God, help me set appropriate limits with the people in my life.

******************************************

Capturing Life’s Flavor
Taking a Field Trip

When we were children, few words were more exciting to hear than the phrase "field trip." Field trips were a break from schoolwork and an opportunity to go on an adventure with friends. Now that we are grown ups, taking a field trip can be just as fun and memorable – if only we were willing to sign our own permission slips so we could go on one.

Allowing yourself to get stuck in your routine can make life seem boring. Adding a touch of variety to your life in the form of a field trip can break up the monotony of your days and lead you to adventure. Unlike the jaunts that were regulated by teachers or monitored by parents, taking a field trip as an adult can lead you anywhere you want. You can go on a daylong retreat or spend just a few hours at your destination. A field trip can be an opportunity to explore a new landscape or discover something about yourself. Taking a day trip to another town or visiting an unfamiliar spot in your neighborhood can be educational and fun. There is also much to be said for finding a beautiful spot under a tree where you can read a book. You can even go to one of your favorite spots and allow yourself to experience it as if you were visiting there for the first time. Going on a field trip is as much a state of mind as it is a change in the scenery.

During a “grown up” field trip, schedules, clocks, and duties are put aside so you can focus wholeheartedly on mindfully enjoying yourself. Planning a field trip can be almost as fun as going on one. A field trip is an excursion to look forward to and an experience to be savored after the fact. Wherever you decide to go and whatever you decide to do, going on a field trip can add much pleasure and excitement to your life. Published with permission from Daily OM

******************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

We learn in The Program and its Twelve Steps that as we grow spiritually, we find that our old attitudes toward our instinctual drives need to undergo drastic revisions. Our demands for emotional security and wealth,for personal prestige and power, all have to be tempered and redirected. We learn that the full satisfaction of these demands cannot be the sole end and aim of our lives. But when we’re willing to place spiritual growth first — then and only then do we have a real chance to grow in healthy awareness and mature love. Am I willing to place spiritual growth first?

Today I Pray

May my development as a spiritual person temper my habitual hankerings for materil security. May I understand that the only real security in life is spiritual. If I have faith in my Higher Power, these revisions in my attitudes will follow. May I grow first in spiritual awareness.

Today I Will Remember

Value the life of the spirit.

******************************************

One More Day

Don’t waste today regretting yesterday instead of making a memory for tomorrow.
– Laura Palmer

Our youthful dreams were filled with grand expectations of our impact on the world. Some of those goals were reached; many were not.

Now, it’s easier to accept that not all our plans will come to pass. In accepting that, we are able to set new goals that better reflect our dreams and ideals today. For a while it may seem as though we are “just surviving,” but we can have more.

At our stage of life we are capable of making mature decisions, of setting more realistic goals. Each day we can reflect upon our accomplishments and upon the joy of family, friends, and job. Finally, we can feel comfortable with ourselves, and we can look forward to our tomorrows.

Yesterday is gone and unchangeable, but today is real and is mine to use.

************************************

Food For Thought

No Ultimate "ah"

When we were overeating, we sought an ultimate experience of satisfaction from food. No matter what kind of food we ate, or how much, we never found that moment of satisfaction, that ultimate "ah." It was always just ahead, in the next bite.

Have we finally realized that the ultimate "ah" which we looked for in food does not exist? No matter what we eat, or how much, it will always elude us. Whatever we are looking for--happiness, success, peace, and fulfillment--it is not to be found in the refrigerator.

We do not promise that working the OA program will bring instant gratification or constant happiness. What we do know is that through the Twelve Steps we are given positive experiences which we did not have before OA. We are happier, more successful, more at peace, and more fulfilled than we ever were before we found this program.

By realizing that food holds no ultimate "ah," we can stop destroying ourselves by chasing a rainbow which does not exist.

May I stop searching for happiness where it is not to be found.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

~ THE ITSY BITSY SPIDER ~

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Frank Herbert, Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear, Dune

Recently in our meeting room we had a new ‘member’. He was HUGE – well, we thought so, but who are we to judge? He was hairy, well maybe we’re not perfect...He strode into the room like he owned the place. Well certainly he had as much right to be there as we all did.

We shrieked. Maybe it was those 8 hairy legs, maybe it’s because he ran towards us like a streak of lightening, who knows.

Whatever he must have thought watching us giants leaping around the room we can only guess. He certainly seemed far more scared of us than we of him. It got me thinking of the insanity of some fears. After all what could this fragile little hairy thing do to me? He didn’t have 8 giant slippers to hit ME on the head. I was the one with the power, yet, through my fear I was giving HIM the power he really didn’t have. Instead of using the Power to give myself more confidence and behave rationally, I was wasting it away, GIVING it away. So many times I seem to repeat this same pattern. Of course some fears are rational, but most aren’t.
This program gives ME the freedom to ask my Higher Power to take away my shortcomings. To relax and step back and make a fresh start. I need never be afraid again of irrational things, not if I truly work the program.

Itsy Bitsy Spider scuttled out of the meeting in rather a hurry that night. Was he trying to avoid participating in the 7th Tradition? Or did he have a genuine rational fear?

Maybe he was quite simply restored to sanity.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will not be afraid ... I will not empower anything to cause me to be fearful.
~ Marlene

*****************************************

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

Now about health: A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling. - Pg. 133 - The Family Afterward

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Now is the time to get into action and into the solution and stop being a part of your problem! Do this by remembering your last high, your last run, your last hopeless desperation. Then share that story with the next person you see and tell them how it led you to this new path of sobriety.

Show me the next person I am to share my story with.

Giving My Body a Voice

Today I will write in my journal as a part of my body. I might say something like, 'I am your back and I want to cry. I am tired o being silent and this is what I want you to hear. Or maybe I'll say, 'as your stomach I want to rebel. I want to relax, and let go of all this'..'Or I am your legs and I wish you appreciated me. I carry you all around the world but you are constantly wishing I were different.' I will let my body parts have a voice and scribble their thoughts onto paper them I will read what they have said to me and wonder about what they have told me.

I will put pen to paper

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

If you are not happy with what you have, what makes you think you would be happy with more?

Happiness is not having what I want but wanting what I have.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

If you meet more than three assholes in one day, you need a meeting.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I know that I am in charge of the quality of my life. I am growing in the ability to become aware of the thoughts that have been controlling me.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

God washed my eyes with tears until I could finally see. - Anon.

*****************************************

AA Thought for the Day

March 9

Choice
The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink.
Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent.
We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force
the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago.
We are without defense against the first drink.
- Alcoholics Anonymous, p.24

Thought to Ponder . . .
Just for today, I choose not to drink.

AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
N E W = Nothing Else Worked.

~*~A.A. Thoughts For The Day~*~

The Light
"To what extent I was personally responsible for my drinking, I don't know. Yet I'm not one to take complete refuge in the
idea that I was a sick man only. In earlier years, I certainly had some degree of free will. That free will I used badly, to the
great misery of my mother and countless others. I am deeply ashamed. As one who knows me a little, you may have
heard how, ten years ago, a friend, himself a liberated alcoholic, came to me bearing the light which finally led me out of
the toils. There will come a day like that for you and yours--I'm so confident!"
Bill W., Letter to the Mother of an Alcoholic, Dec. Language of the Heart, p. 102

Thought to Consider . . .
It's impossible for me to love God and hate myself.

*~*~*AACRONYMS*~*~*
ISM = I, Self, Me

*~*~*~*~*^Just For Today!^*~*~*~*~*

Substitute
>From "Stay Sober on Love":
"The things I thought I needed for so many years no longer seem important, now that I have become aware of the
spiritual resources God has given me. With these, I don't need alcohol to function. What a joy to stay sober on love on
love instead of fear!" Toronto, Ontario/Canada
1973 AAWS, Inc.; Came to Believe, 30th printing 2004, pg. 35

*~*~*~*~*^ Grapevine Quote ^*~*~*~*~*

"If there are challenges to be met today, I remember other days when what seemed impossible was made possible."
Huntington, W.V., August 2006
"Never Sober Today Before"
Beginner's Book: Getting and Staying Sober in AA

~*~*~*~*^ Big Book & Twelve N' Twelve Quotes of the Day ^*~*~*~*~*

"We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much
more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our
respective homes, occupations and affairs."
Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, There Is A Solution, pg. 19

"When people presented us with spiritual approaches, how frequently
did we all say, "I wish I had what that man has. I'm sure it
would work if I could only believe as he believes. But I cannot
accept as surely true the many articles of faith which are so plain
to him." So it was comforting to learn that we could commence at a
simpler level."
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, pg. 47~

True ambition is not what we thought it was. True ambition is the deep desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grave of God.
-Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions p. 124

Misc. AA Literature - Quote

Renew Your Effort
'Though I know how hurt and sorry you must be after this slip, please do not worry about a temporary loss of your inner
peace. As calmly as you can, just renew your effort on the A.A. program, especially those parts of it which have to do
with meditation and self-analysis.
'Could I also suggest that you look at excessive guilt for what it is? Nothing but a sort of reverse pride. A decent regret
for what has happened is fine. But guilt - no.
'Indeed, the slip could well have been brought about by unreasonable feelings of guilt because of other moral failures, so
called. Surely, you ought to look into this possibility. Even here you should not blame yourself for failure; you can be
penalized only for refusing to try for better things.' LETTER, 1958

Prayer For The Day: Dear Lord, please grant me the wisdom to understand that I do make a difference in the world.