EQUALITY

Our membership ought to include all who suffer from
alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover.
Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or
conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together
for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided
that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 565

Prior to A.A., I often felt that I didn't "fit in" with
the people around me. Usually "they" had more/less money
than I did, and my points of view didn't jibe with
"theirs." The amount of prejudice I had experienced in
society only proved to me just how phony some self
-righteous people were. After joining A.A., I found the
way of life I had been searching for. In A.A. no member
is any better than any other member; we're just
alcoholics trying to recover from alcoholism.
***********************************************************

As Bill Sees It

Keystone of the Arch, p. 87

Faced with alcoholic destruction, we became open-minded on spiritual
matters. In this respect alcohol was a great persuader. It finally beat
us into a state of reasonableness.

<< << << >> >> >>

We had to quit playing God. It didn't work. We decided that
hereafter, in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He
would be the Principal; we, His agents.

Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the
new triumphal arch through which we passed to freedom.

Alcoholics Anonymous
1. p. 48
2. p. 62

***********************************************************

Walk in Dry Places
 
Keep coming back.. it works if you work it.
Fortitude
A popular self-help book noted that there is tremendous power in repetition.... like the tap-tap-tap of a hammer that finally drives the nail through a board. AA works in much the same way; attendance at meetings is the steady tap-tap-tap  that helps bring about lasting sobriety and personal improvement.
Attending meetings is also much like attending school.  Nobody learns everything in one classroom session, and it's also true that the student must put forth an effort to learn.
We should accept AA as something that will gradually grow on us if we become part of it and apply ourselves to its principles.  The willingness to continue attending meetings is some evidence of sincerity and commitment.  We discover that there are few meetings that bring us world-shaking revelations and experiences, but as we keep coming back and working the program, our own lives will improve steadily.  This is the result of many meetings, not just a few.
I'll do everything possible today to strengthen my sobriety and my understanding of the program.  Rather than seeking shortcuts, I'll be grateful for steady progress.

***********************************************************

Keep It Simple

God is not a cosmic bellboy.---Harry Emerson Fosdick
We have to laugh when we look back at the times we treated God like our servant. Who did we think we were, ordering God to do something for us? But we got away with it. God even did some of the things we asked. Now we know that our Higher Power is not a servant. As we work the Steps, we know we don't give orders to our Higher Power. We don't expect God to work miracles every time we'd like one. we're asking our Higher Power to lead us. After all, who knows what is best for us---our Higher Power or us? Our Higher Power has many wonderful gifts for us. Our Higher Power will show us goals, help us live in love and joy, and give us strength.
Prayer for the Day:  Higher Power, show me ways to help others as You've helped me. I'm grateful that You love me and help me.
Action for the Day:  Today ,I'll make a list of times my Higher Power has helped me out of trouble.

***********************************************************

Each Day a New Beginning

Is there ever any particular spot where one can put one's finger and say, "It all began that day, at such a time and such a place, with such an incident"?
--Agatha Christie
No experience of our lives is pure, unadulterated, set apart from all other experiences. There is an eternal flow in our lives. It carries us from one moment, one experience, into the next. Where we are today, the growth we have attained as recovering women and the plans we have for further changes are prompted by the same driving desires that contributed to our many actions in years gone by.
We can reflect on a particular experience and tag it a turning point. However, neither a lone prescription nor a single martini opened the door we passed through when we chose recovery. But they each may have played a part, and it's the many parts of our lives, past and present, that guarantee us the turning points that nudge us further up the mountain. We will see the summit. And we will understand how, each time we stumbled, new strength was gained.
Every day is a training ground. And every experience trains me to recognize the value of succeeding experiences. With richness, I am developing, one moment at a time.

***********************************************************

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 8 - TO WIVES

Our homes have been battle-grounds many an evening. In the morning we have kissed and made up. Our friends have counseled chucking the men and we have done so with finality, only to be back in a little while hoping, always hoping. Our men have sworn great solemn oaths that they were through drinking forever. We have believed them when no one else could or would. Then, in days, weeks, or months, a fresh outburst.

p. 105

***********************************************************

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

The Man Who Mastered Fear

He spent eighteen years in running away, and then found he didn't have to run.  So he started A.A. in Detroit.

Suddenly all this changed.  I underwent a shattering nervous breakdown.  Three months in bed.  Three more months of being up and around the house for brief periods and in bed the rest of the time.  Visits from friends that lasted over fifteen minutes exhausted me.  A complete checkup at one of the best hospitals revealed nothing.  I heard for the first time an expression that I was to grow to loathe:  "There is nothing organically wrong."  Psychiatry might have helped, but psychiatrists had not penetrated the Middle West.

p. 246 - 247

***********************************************************

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Ten - "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

As we glance down the debit side of the day's ledger, we should carefully examine our motives in each thought or act that appears to be wrong. In most cases our motives won't be hard to see and understand. When prideful, angry, jealous, anxious, or fearful, we acted accordingly, and that was that. Here we need only recognize that we did act or think badly, try to visualize how we might have done better, and resolve with God's help to carry these lessons over into tomorrow, making, of course, any amends still neglected.

p. 94

***********************************************************

God, help me be so clear on who I am that I can generously afford to
let other people be who they are, too. Help me to set aside my
defensive behavior, and teach me to blend with other people and see
their point of view while not relinquishing my own.
--Melody Beattie

If you learn from your suffering, and really come to understand the
lesson you were taught, you might be able to help someone else who's
now in the phase you may have just completed. Maybe that's what it's
all about after all . . .
--Anonymous

God, help me search myself to see if I'm holding on to blame for
myself or someone else. If I am, help me get it out in the open, then
help me let it go.
--Melody Beattie

"Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it's holy ground.
There's no greater investment."
--Stephen Covey

Those who are at war with others are not at peace with themselves.
--William Hazlitt

Memories are made when you spend quality time with someone you love. Make a
memory today!

***********************************************************

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

FUTURE

"The future is hidden even from
the men who made it."
-- Anatole France

Life is a glorious mystery. We can never fully understand it and it will
always confuse and amaze us. After we have understood one thing, we
are presented with a fresh problem. We are not perfect. We are not
God. We will never understand completely.

Some years ago this used to anger and irritate me. I wanted to know
everything. I wanted to have the answer to all life's problems. I
wanted the "power" that comes with perfection. I hated being
vulnerable, weak and confused! I hated being human. Yes, that was my
problem. I hated being a human being.

Today I am enjoying the adventure of life, and I kneel in awe at its
mingled complexity. Today life is a paradox that I can live with.

Help me to accept the mystery of life.

***********************************************************

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: And he delighteth
in his way.
Psalm 37:23

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have
peace. In the world, ye shall have tribulation: but be of good
cheer; I have overcome the world.
John 16:33

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O
LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.
Psalm 19:14

***********************************************************

Daily Inspiration

Faith is complete surrender to the will of God and acceptance of His plan for us. Lord, You carry me through each moment of my day.

Learn to be peaceful in all situations and trust that through all stages of our lives, God has a plan. Lord, may I have the wisdom to be able to turn my stumbling blocks into building blocks.

***********************************************************

NA Just For Today

Facing Feelings

"We may fear that being in touch with our feelings will trigger an overwhelming chain reaction of pain and panic."
Basic Text p. 29

While we were using, many of us were unable or unwilling to feel many emotions. If we were happy, we used to make us happier. If we were angry or depressed, we used to mask those feelings. In continuing this pattern throughout our active addiction, we became so emotionally confused that we weren't sure what normal emotions were anymore.

After being in recovery for some time, we find that the emotions we had suppressed suddenly begin to surface. We may find that we do not know how to identify our feelings. What we may be feeling as rage may only be frustration. What we perceive as suicidal depression may simply be sadness. These are the times when we need to seek the assistance of our sponsor or other members of NA. Going to a meeting and talking about what is happening in our lives can help us to face our feelings instead of running from them in fear.

Just for today: I will not run from the uncomfortable emotions I may experience. I will use the support of my friends in recovery to help me face my emotions.

***********************************************************

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I have a feeling I should paint what I am supposed to paint. So I sit. And there my hand moves and I made a picture.
--Norval Morrijeau
The writer sits, head in hands, amid a mound of crumpled paper wads. The deadline is tomorrow and not even the first paragraph is written. The writer has been working nonstop since the early morning hours. Frustration pushes the writer up from the chair and out on a long walk in the woods to the stream. After an hour of plunging through lush woods, a rest by the stream listening to the sounds of the rippling water is refreshing. Back at the typewriter, the fingers move, the words flow, the job is done.
Sometimes we need to quiet ourselves to let our inner resources flow through our outer noise. We are always doing what we are supposed to do. Even when things don't seem to come together just right, there is a purpose; even if only to let us know we need to do something else for a while.
How much simpler our lives can be if we only have the faith to accept what happens as a guidepost along a path that is naturally correct.
Am I frustrated with something I should step away from?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
There is nothing stronger in the world than gentleness. --Han Suyin
It may take a while to learn to be gentle with ourselves. We have long standing patterns of abusing and shaming ourselves. Maybe we became this way because we were victims. Now it's easier to attack ourselves for mistakes we've made than to be accountable and make amends. We think we deserve to be rejected if we let our friends know our deepest secrets. In the midst of stress we fly to self doubt and self abusing thoughts. We withdraw emotionally, we pout, we expect rejection rather than gentleness.
For today, let us pledge to be gentle with ourselves. Gentleness isn't dishonest; it isn't arrogant or self-centered. It is taking reality - with whatever pain that includes - and treating ourselves as worthwhile men. We will be stronger and less self centered when we accept this gentleness. We will be as loyal to ourselves as we are to our best friends. Each day with this new attitude will build strength of character and wisdom.
Today, may I treat myself with gentleness and learn the strength it has to teach me.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Is there ever any particular spot where one can put one's finger and say, "It all began that day, at such a time and such a place, with such an incident"?
--Agatha Christie
No experience of our lives is pure, unadulterated, set apart from all other experiences. There is an eternal flow in our lives. It carries us from one moment, one experience, into the next. Where we are today, the growth we have attained as recovering women and the plans we have for further changes are prompted by the same driving desires that contributed to our many actions in years gone by.
We can reflect on a particular experience and tag it a turning point. However, neither a lone prescription nor a single martini opened the door we passed through when we chose recovery. But they each may have played a part, and it's the many parts of our lives, past and present, that guarantee us the turning points that nudge us further up the mountain. We will see the summit. And we will understand how, each time we stumbled, new strength was gained.
Every day is a training ground. And every experience trains me to recognize the value of succeeding experiences. With richness, I am developing, one moment at a time.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Balance
Seek balance.
Balance emotions with reason.
Combine detachment with doing our part.
Balance giving with receiving.
Alternate work with play, business with personal activities.
Balance tending to our spiritual needs with tending to our other needs.
Juggle responsibilities to others with responsibilities to ourselves.
Balance caring about others with caring about ourselves.
Whenever possible, lets be good to others, but be good to ourselves too.
Some of us have to make up for lost time.
Today, I will strive for balance.


I am at choice today. I can watch my negative thoughts go by and replace them with positive thoughts and compassion.
--Ruth Fishel

******************************************

Journey to the Heart

Discover New Beliefs

The drive from Zion National Park to Bryce Canyon in utah was a short one. I had traveled the same route several times. At a certain pass, no matter how sunny the day and cloudless the sky, it was raining there every time. Although it was hard to see, a small dark cloud seemed to hang over this one particular place, this one area of the road, all the time.

It may be like that in a particular area of our lives. A certain belief seems almost stuck to us, stuck to one area of our lives, and no matter how sunny the rest of the drive, it’s raining there all the time. What cloud is hanging over you? Could it be one you’re helping to create?

Some beliefs– My choices are wrong. I make bad decisions, I’m wrong– can create a dark heaviness that hangs over us like a cloud. These beliefs may be so subtle we don’t notice them. What we do notice is a lingering pain or anxiety, a cloud that seems to follow us around. What we don’t see is that we’re helping create and maintain our own cloud with these beliefs.

The lesson may not be to make better decisions or be a better person. The lesson may be much simpler: change your beliefs. Make some new decisions. Let yourself discover some new, better, sunnier beliefs about yourself and your life. Allow yourself to believe that the decisions you make are fine.

Who you are is okay. You always have been.

******************************************

The Language of Letting Go

Balance

Seek balance.

Balance emotions with reason.

Combine detachment with doing our part.

Balance giving with receiving.

Alternate work with play, business with personal activities.

Balance tending to our spiritual needs with tending to our other needs.

Juggle responsibilities to others with responsibilities to ourselves.

Balance caring about others with caring about ourselves.

Whenever possible, let’s be good to others, but be good to ourselves too.

Some of us have to make up for lost time.

Today, I will strive for balance.

******************************************

In God’s Care

The essence of prayer, even of a mystical experience is the way we are altered to see everything from its life-filled dimension.
~~Matthew Fox

Prayer can change us dramatically. It can open our eyes to the intricate beauty in the things and people in our life.

Prayer can help us see the people we pray for–whether friend or adversary–with greater clarity and love. Our gratitude for friends is heightened; our resentment toward adversaries lessens. Barriers mysteriously disappear when we look upon our enemies prayerfully.

The Eleventh Step suggests that prayer may be as simple as asking for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out. We therefore seek God’s presence anywhere we are and in anyone we’re with. This is prayer as action, as a commitment to fully invest ourselves in life. When prayer is how we live our life, we are able to honor whatever life gives us by responding with acceptance and hope.

Today I will look upon the people and events in my life prayerfully, and be open to the riches I am afforded.

******************************************

Things We Don’t Want to Do
Outside the Comfort Zone
by Madisyn Taylor

Most often, after you have completed something you didn't want to do, you wonder why you were so worried in the first place.

Most of us have had the experience of tackling some dreaded task only to come out the other side feeling invigorated, filled with a new sense of confidence and strength. The funny thing is, most of the time when we do them, we come out on the other side changed and often wondering what we were so worried about or why it took us so long. We may even begin to look for other tasks we’ve been avoiding so that we can feel that same heady mix of excitement and completion.

Whether we avoid something because it scares us or bores us, or because we think it will force a change we’re not ready for, putting it off only creates obstacles for us. On the other hand, facing the task at hand, no matter how onerous, creates flow in our lives and allows us to grow. The relief is palpable when we stand on the other side knowing that we did something even though it was hard or we didn't want to do it. On the other hand, when we cling to our comfort zone, never addressing the things we don’t want to face, we cut ourselves off from flow and growth.

We all have at least one thing in our life that never seems to get done. Bringing that task to the top of the list and promising ourselves that we will do it as soon as possible is an act that could liberate a tremendous amount of energy in our lives. Whatever it is, we can allow ourselves to be fueled by the promise of the feelings of exhilaration and confidence that will be the natural result of doing it. Published with permission from Daily OM

******************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

We must think deeply of all those sick persons still to come to The Program. As they try to make their return to faith and to life, we want them to find everything in The Program that we have found yet more, if that be possible. No care, no vigilance, no effort to preserve The Program’s constant effectiveness and spiritual strength will ever be too great to hold us in full readiness for the day of their homecoming. How well do I respect the Traditions of The Program?

Today I Pray

God help me to carry out my part in making the group a lifeline for those who are still suffering from addictions, in maintaining the Steps and the Traditions which have made it work for me for those who are still to come. May The Program be a “homecoming” for those of us who share the disease of addiction. May we find common solutions to the common problems which that disease breeds.

Today I Will Remember

To do my Part.

******************************************

One More Day

It is not death or pain that is to be dreaded, but the fear of pain or death.
– Epictetus

The pain we anticipate — whether it be a flu shot, a lengthy dental procedure, or surgery — is usually worse than the actual pain. Perhaps this is because the anticipation of pain includes fear or dread.

As we deal with pain, we may find healthier ways to cope with it. Once, even the sense of headache coming might have caused us to tense our muscles and prepare for the onslaught. Now, we’re more likely to settle down to begin thinking of positive imagery or relaxation therapy. We are giving ourselves the moments we need to be alone, to breathe deeply, to think of a beautiful and calming sight. We’re learning to relax and be less fearful.

I need to remind myself of my personal power. I can exercise control over my body and strive to minimize the effect of fear.

************************************

Food For Thought

Avoiding Trouble

Staying out of the kitchen as much as possible is a good way for the compulsive overeater to avoid trouble. If fast food restaurants are a problem, then visit them as infrequently as you can, or keep away from them altogether.

With planning, we can arrange for the food we need without placing ourselves in situations of great temptation. If the family is having something not on our program, we can substitute a simple meal for ourselves which fits our food plan. Sometimes we may need to get out of the house entirely while a particular food is being served.

Whenever possible, we stay away from temptation. We strengthen our resolve and refresh our spirits by frequently making phone calls to other OA members, attending meetings, and reading the literature. As we progress in our program, we are bothered less and less by the foods which we have chosen to avoid. Our new way of eating and living is so much more satisfying than our old habits that we have no desire to jeopardize it.

Lead us away from temptation.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

GRATITUDE

"Gratitude is a fruit of a great civilization ~ you do not find it among gross people."
Samuel Johnson

Samuel Johnson's quote from the TOUR OF THE HEBRIDES could easily have been written about The Recovery Group. The attitude of gratitude is an absolutely crucial tool to a successful recovery. Gratitude is the measure of our appreciation for what we've been given. We in Program have SO much for which we should be thankful. We stand on the shoulders of giants - we are indebted to those members who've proceeded us in Program and handed down the tools, wisdom and resources - the bedrock upon which our recovery is based. We are indebted to our HP, our sponsors, to those who do service in innumerable ways at the Recovery Group and - to each other - for mutual love and support - and for our precious gift of recovery. Be grateful for each day - each moment.

One Day at a Time . . . I will continue to practice the attitude of gratitude and learn to forgive others.
Rob R.

*****************************************

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. This is our TWELFTH SUGGESTION: Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember they are very ill. - Pg. 89 - Working With Others

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Keeping life simple right now is imperative. You need to learn how not to use mind-affecting chemicals. You do this by following instructions. That's all. Your family problems, job instability, or other concerns must take a back seat until you stabilize yourself.

Let me realize that my thinking is not balanced enough now to solve past problems. May I stow away my concerns for the first 30 days.

Appreciating Life

I have the gift of life. I am here. I am alive, with all of my senses and able to experience the magic of this incredible world. Whatever this day has in store for me - I am open to receive. I will act on my day and allow my day to act on me. I am open. I will take steps that I know will make my day feel good, productive and pleasurable, and then I will let the rest happen. Each day presents me with gifts and surprises, if I know how to unwrap the present - if I remember how to be pleased, moved and astonished by the wonders of this world.

Life itself is the gift

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Do not be quick to call all therapy 'psycho-babble' and think that mental health experts do not understand. Therapy can be the guide that leads you to the discovery of your anchor amidst the surrounding storms of life.

In the words of Bill Wilson, I should 'never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist'.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

If you aren't happy today, what are you waiting for?

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

I am at choice today. I can watch my negative thoughts go by and replace them with positive thoughts and compassion.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I began to see that my insanity is not the crazy, stupid things I do when I'm drinking. It's the insane idea that this time it's going to be different, the idea that: 'Only two drinks, that's all I'm going to take.' or: 'One drink won't hurt me.' - Charlie P.

*****************************************

AA Thought for the Day

March 28

Pickles
We are also convinced, after the countless attempts we made to prove otherwise,
that alcoholism is incurable -- just like some other illnesses. It cannot be "cured" in this sense:
We cannot change our body chemistry and go back to being the normal, moderate social drinkers
lots of us seemed to be in our youth. . .
we can no more make that change than a pickle can change itself back into a cucumber.
- Living Sober, p. 8

Thought to Ponder . . .
Times change, alcoholism doesn't.

AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
A A = Absolute Abstinence.

~*~A.A. Thoughts For The Day~*~

Unity
"The unity of Alcoholics Anonymous is
the most cherished quality our Society has.
Our lives, the lives of all to come,
depend squarely upon it.
We stay whole, or AA dies.
Without unity, the heart of AA would cease to beat;
our world arteries would no longer carry
the life-giving grace of God;
His gift to us would be spent aimlessly.
Back again in their caves,
alcoholics would reproach us and say,
'What a great thing AA might have been!'"
Bill W., Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 130

Thought to Consider . . .
I am responsible.
when anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help,
I want the hand of AA always to be there.
And for that:
I am responsible

*~*~*AACRONYMS*~*~*
ABC
Acceptance, Belief, Change

*~*~*~*~*^Just For Today!^*~*~*~*~*

Faith
From "Fresh Snow":
"While some days may offer only a modicum of frantic serenity, twenty-six years later I still know the same inner
tranquility that comes with forgiveness of self and the acceptance of God's will. Each new morning, there is faith in
sobriety, sobriety not as mere abstinence from alcohol, but as progressive recovery in every facet of my life.
"Edmonton, Alberta, Canada"
1973 AAWS, Inc.; Came to Believe, 30th printing 2004, pg. 13

*~*~*~*~*^ Grapevine Quote ^*~*~*~*~*

"One of the first insights Dr. Bob and I shared was that all true communication must be founded on mutual need. Never
could we talk down to anyone, certainly not to a fellow alcoholic. We saw that each sponsor would have to humbly admit
his own needs as clearly as those of his prospect."
AA Co-Founder, Bill W., July 1960
"The Language of the Heart"

~*~*~*~*^ Big Book & Twelve N' Twelve Quotes of the Day ^*~*~*~*~*

"We know that while the alcoholic keeps away from drink, as he may do
for months or years, he reacts much like other men. We are equally
positive that once he takes any alcohol whatever into his system,
something happens, both in the bodily and mental sense, which makes
it virtually impossible for him to stop. The experience of any
alcoholic will abundantly confirm this."
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, There Is A Solution, pg. 22~

"Having made our personal inventory, what shall we do about it? We have
been trying to get a new attitude, a new relationship with our Creator,
and to discover the obstacles in our path. We have admitted certain
defects; we have ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is; we
have put our finger on the weak items in our personal inventory. Now
these are about to be cast out. This requires action on our part,
which, when completed, will mean that we have admitted to God, to
ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our defects.
This brings us to the Fifth Step in the program of recovery mentioned
in the preceding chapter."
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 72~

Meditation is something which can always be further developed.
-Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions p. 101

Misc. AA Literature - Quote

Keystone of the Arch
Faced with alcoholic destruction, we became open-minded on spiritual matters. In this respect alcohol was great
persuader. It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness.
We had to quit playing God. It didn't work. We decided that hereafter, in this drama of life, God was going to be our
Director. He would be the Principal; we, His agents.
Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new triumphal arch through which we passed to freedom.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
1.P. 48
2. P. 62

Prayer For The Day: Lord Jesus, I give you my hands - to do your work. I give you my feet - to go your way. I give you my eyes - to see as you do. I give you my tongue - to speak your words. I give you my mind - that you may think in me. I give you my spirit - that you may pray in me. Above all, I give you my heart that you may love, in me, your Father and all mankind. I give you my whole self that you may grow in me, so that it is you, Lord Jesus, who lives and works and prays in me. Amen.