***********************************************************

As Bill Sees It

Newcomer Problems, p. 14

The temptation is to become rather possessive of newcomers.
Perhaps we try to give them advice about their affairs which we aren't
really competent to give or ought not give at all. Then we are hurt
and confused when the advice is rejected, or when it is accepted and
brings still greater confusion.

<< << << >> >> >>

"You can't make a horse drink water if he still prefers beer or is too
crazy to know what he does want. Set a pail of water beside him, tell
him how good it is and why, and leave him alone.

"If people really want to get drunk, there is, so far as I know, no way
stopping this--so leave them alone and let them get drunk. But don't
exclude them from the water pail, either."

1. 12 & 12, p. 111
2. Letter, 1942

***********************************************************

Walk In Dry Places
 
If God be for us___Good Orderly Directions
Sometimes  we find help and power in staying sober, yet feel naked and alone when facing other problems.  It is almost as if we see our  Higher Power as a "sobering-up God" who has said, "I'll help you with drinking problem, but  you're on your own in everything else.
The true way to practice AA's principles in all of our affairs is to view everything as spiritual, as being under God's direction and influence.  God is with us in our homes, in the shop, on the highway, or wherever we go. There is no place and no action that is beyond God's scrutiny and power.
We should reflect on this truth at times when we are frustrated or when others threaten us. We should not expect God to aid us in manipulating or dominating others. God will be with us as a protecting, guiding presence in all our activities and relationships.  And when we truly understand this, we will find surprising reserves of courage in situations that used to frighten u s.  This is true even when we are not ceratin of the outcome of a situation.
I will know that God is with me in all of  my affairs today, in all that I think, say, or do.

***********************************************************

Keep It Simple

If you play with a thing long enough, you will surely break it.---Anonymous
Some things shouldn't be played with. Our recovery program is one these things. When we play with our program, we're taking a risk. We play with the program by missing meetings. Or by not calling our sponsors. Or by skipping the Steps we think are to hard. It's okay to play. But it's not okay to play with our program, we risk our lives.
Prayer for the Day:  Higher Power, help me know that I must work this program with care and respect.
Action for the Day:  Today, I'll make two list. On one list, I'll write ways I work on my program. On the other list, I'll write ways I play with my program. And I'll put my energy into working the program.

***********************************************************

Each Day a New Beginning

In a culture where approval/disapproval has become the predominant regulator of effort and position, and often the substitute for love, our personal freedoms are dissipated.  --Viola Spolin
Wanting others to approve our efforts, our appearance, our aspirations and behavior is perfectly normal, certainly not unhealthy. However, needing the approval in order to proceed with our lives is.
In early childhood we are taught to obey others and to please them. We confuse love with approval, and we begin to march to someone else's drum. Then we get even more approval. But soon we get out of step with ourselves; we neglect our personal needs and become puppets. Giving away our power to the whims of others weakens our Spirit. Personal freedom means choosing our own behavior; it means acting rather than reacting. It also means allowing ourselves the full adventure of living, of meeting each moment wholly, of responding in a pure, spontaneous, personally honest manner. Only then can we give to life what is ours to give.
Each of us has a unique part to play in the drama of life. And we need to rely on our higher power for our cues, not on those whose approval we think we need. When we turn within for guidance, all the approval we could hope for will be ours.
I will be free today. I will let no one control my actions. I will let God give the only approval that counts. Aligning my will with God's will guarantees it.

***********************************************************

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

THERE IS A SOLUTION

This is by no means a comprehensive picture of the true alcoholic, as our behavior patterns vary. But this description should identify him roughly.
Why does he behave like this? If hundreds of experiences have shown him that one drink means another debacle with all its attendant suffering and humiliation, why is it he takes that one drink? Why can’t he stay on the water wagon? What has become of the common sense and will power that he still sometimes displays with respect to other matters?
Perhaps there never will be a full answer to these questions. Opinions vary considerably as to why the alcoholic reacts differently from normal people. We are not sure why, once a certain point is reached, little can be done for him. We cannot answer the riddle.

p. 22

***********************************************************

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

It Might Have Been Worse

Alcohol was a looming cloud in this banker's bright sky.  With rare foresight he realized it could become a tornado.

In time I became an officer and director of one of the largest commercial banks in the country. I achieved recognized and national standing in my profession, as well as becoming a director in many important institutions having to do with the civic life of a large city. I had a family to be proud of, actively sharing in the responsibilities of good citizenship.

p. 349

***********************************************************

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Five - "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."

When we reached A.A., and for the first time in our lives stood among people who seemed to understand, the sense of belonging was tremendously exciting. We thought the isolation problem had been solved. But we soon discovered that while we weren't alone any more in a social sense, we still suffered many of the old pangs of anxious partners. Until we had talked with complete candor of our conflicts, and had listened to someone else do the same thing, we still didn't belong. Step Five was the answer. It was the beginning of true kinship with man and God.

p. 57

***********************************************************

You cannot think your way into sober living. You live your way into sober thinking.

I embrace the beauty of life, and depend deeply upon God.  --Shelley

"You Can't Change The Wind, But You Can Adjust Your Sails..." Make This Day Shine.  --Carol Anne

Without Gods inner source of enlightenment and refreshment, I would soon stagnate and feel despair.  --Shelley

God is my constant companion and comfort.  --JReid51546

I faithfully, trustfully, have acceptance for God's will, and I therefore find serenity.  --Shelley

***********************************************************

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

RESPONSIBILITY

"The fault is in us."
-- Hannah Arendt

As a drunk I would blame everybody for my problems: My family was
too controlling. I did not have people around who understood me. I
worked too hard and the people were too demanding. The weather was
awful!

Today I accept my involvement with my past predicament. Bad things
happened to me because I created them in my life. And this means that
good and creative things can also happen in my life if I create them. I
need not remain the problem. I can be the solution!

Let me discover Your answer in my response to life.

***********************************************************

"As servants of God, live as free people."  1 Peter 1:16

"Then the Lord God will wipe away the tears from all faces."  Isaiah 25:8

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:13

***********************************************************

Daily Inspiration

Home should be the happiest place to be. Fill it with love, laughter and good conversation. Lord, give us Your peace and teach us to share it.

Faith grows by speaking daily with God. Lord, You teach me Your promises when times are good so that I will be able to trust in You when times are hard.

***********************************************************

NA Just For Today

A Loving God

" Our understanding of a Higher Power is up to us.... The only suggested guidelines are that this Power be loving, caring, and greater than ourselves."
Basic Text, p. 24

We've been told that we can believe in any kind of Higher Power we want as long as it is loving and, of course, greater than ourselves. Some of us, however, have trouble with these requirements. We either believe in nothing but ourselves, or we believe that anything that could be called "God" could only be cold-hearted and unreasonable, sending us bad luck on a whim.

Believing in a loving Power is quite a leap for some of us, for many reasons. The thought of turning our will and lives over to the care of something we think might hurt us is sure to fill us with reluctance. If we come into the program believing that God is judgmental and unforgiving, we must overcome those beliefs before we can be truly comfortable with the Third Step.

Our positive experiences in recovery can help us come to believe in a loving God of our own understanding. We have been given relief from a disease that has afflicted us for a long time. We've found the guidance and support we need to develop a new way of life. We've begun to experience a fullness of spirit where once there was only emptiness. These aspects of our recovery have their source in a loving God, not a harsh, hateful one. And the more we experience recovery, the more we'll trust that loving Higher Power.

Just for today: I will open my mind and my heart to believe that God is loving, and trust my loving Higher Power to do for me what I cannot do for myself.

***********************************************************

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
The universe is made up of stories, not atoms. --Muriel Rukeyser
There was once a storyteller who told many people of her life. They listened and heard their own stories in hers. Hearing her story, they didn't feel so lonely anymore. Hearing about someone else who had lost things and people she loved, who had felt lonely, scared, and unsure of herself, let them feel less crazy when similar things happened to them.
Because of the healing they felt through hearing someone else's story, some of the listeners decided to become storytellers themselves. As they recounted their stories, they found that letting out secrets that had bothered them for years freed them to feel good about who they were and who they had always wanted to be.
What secrets can I share today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
If I am not for myself, who is for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when? --Hillel
Some of us were treated badly as young boys and never learned how to live for ourselves. We can see only two choices: either be submissive and caretaking or be abusive and demanding. Many of us have so much guilt and shame that we feel we don't deserve to stand up for ourselves. This program demands that in recovery we be for ourselves. If we don't know how, we learn. If we are unsure, we must experiment. When we make mistakes, we must admit them and know we have a right to be imperfect learners. And we can't be only for ourselves, because that keeps us small and turns us back to where we came from.
As we accept ourselves and come to know our imperfections and weaknesses, we can understand others better. We are stronger in giving to others and more effective because we have a place to stand.
Today, even if I don't feel good about myself, I will stand up for my dignity as a man.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
In a culture where approval/disapproval has become the predominant regulator of effort and position, and often the substitute for love, our personal freedoms are dissipated. --Viola Spolin
Wanting others to approve our efforts, our appearance, our aspirations and behavior is perfectly normal, certainly not unhealthy. However, needing the approval in order to proceed with our lives is.
In early childhood we are taught to obey others and to please them. We confuse love with approval, and we begin to march to someone else's drum. Then we get even more approval. But soon we get out of step with ourselves; we neglect our personal needs and become puppets. Giving away our power to the whims of others weakens our Spirit. Personal freedom means choosing our own behavior; it means acting rather than reacting. It also means allowing ourselves the full adventure of living, of meeting each moment wholly, of responding in a pure, spontaneous, personally honest manner. Only then can we give to life what is ours to give.
Each of us has a unique part to play in the drama of life. And we need to rely on our higher power for our cues, not on those whose approval we think we need. When we turn within for guidance, all the approval we could hope for will be ours.
I will be free today. I will let no one control my actions. I will let God give the only approval that counts. Aligning my will with God's will guarantees it.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Accepting Anger
Anger is one of the many profound effects life has on us. It's one of our emotions. And we're going to feel it when it comes our way -- or else repress it. --Codependent No More
If I were working a good program, I wouldn't get angry.... If I were a good Christian, I wouldn't feel angry.... If I were really using my affirmations about how happy I am, I wouldn't be angry.... Those are old messages that seduce us into not feeling again. Anger is part of life. We need not dwell in it or seek it out, but we can't afford to ignore it.
In recovery, we learn we can shamelessly feel all our feelings, including anger, and still take responsibility for what we do when we feel angry. We don't have to let anger control us, but it surely will if we prevent ourselves from feeling it.
Being grateful, being positive, being healthy, does not mean we never feel angry. Being grateful, positive, and healthy means we feel angry when we need to.
Today, I will let myself be angry, if I need to. I can feel and release my emotions, including anger, constructively. I will be grateful for my anger and the things it is trying to show me. I can feel and accept all my emotions without shame, and I can take responsibility for my actions.


I am clearing out old confusion and doubt so that I can see the miracle today. --Ruth Fishel

*****************************************

Journey To The Heart

Release Your Fears

The Royal Gorge Bridge in Colorado is the world’s highest suspension bridge. Visiting it was a significant part of my journey, an important turning point.

Spanning a section of the Grand Canyon of the Arkansas River, the bridge is constructed of small wooden slats. You can drive across or you can walk it, peering down through the slats to see the river 1,050 feet below.

When I reached the park surrounding the bridge, I parked my car, grabbed my backpack, and got out to walk across the bridge. I neared the bridge, then turned around. I was too afraid to walk across, certain I’d blow off. I decided to drive.

I returned to the jeep, drove to the bridge, but stopped again. I backed up, drove back to the toll booth, and hailed the man working inside. “Will I be fine?” I said. He looked at me strangely. “Will I be fine?” I repeated.

He finally got it. “You’ll be fine,” he said with a smile.

I drove back to the bridge. Inch by inch, I drove the car across the wooden slats. I was afraid to look to the right or left. Afraid to look down. Afraid to look. Afraid not to look… I never knew how much fear was in me until I drove across the bridge. And to get back, I had to turn the jeep around and drive across the bridge once more.

Sometimes, we’re so afraid we don’t know how afraid we are. Sometimes, we carry so much fear that it interferes with our ability to enjoy life.

Feel and release your fears. See how needless they are? See how they keep you from enjoying life? Unclench your hands. Don’t always look straight ahead. Experience. Adventure. Let yourself live.

As the man said, “You’ll be fine.”

*****************************************

More Language Of Letting Go

Say yes to yourself

Are you balanced? Do you share your time, you energy, your life, as much with yourself as you do with those around you? We all know how simple it is to say “yes,yes,yes” each time someone makes a request. After all, it makes us feel good, makes us feel needed, makes us feel loved. And the more we say yes, the more they ask of us. And we tell ourselves this is an example of even more love.

But soon we say yes to too many things. We get bitter about our relationships. Can’t they do anything for themselves? Nothing would get done around here if it weren’t for me. Isn’t there anyone else who can help? After a while, things don’t get done, promises go unfulfilled, relationships break down. And so do we.

It doesn’t have to be that way. Know your limits. You are one of the most important people you need to look after and love. Balance your time, your energy, your life with those around you. You will be able to give more freely and joyfully as a result, and you’ll be more open to the gifts of the universe.

It’s not wrong to give to others. But it’s okay to say yes to ourselves,too.

God, help me live a balanced life. Help me learn when it’s time to say yes to myself.

*****************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

I admitted that I couldn’t win the booze and chemical battle on my own. So I finally began to accept the critically important fact that dependence on a Higher Power could help me achieve what had always seemed impossible. I stopped running. I stopped fighting. For the first time, I began accepting. And for the first time, I began to be really free. Do I realize that it doesn’t matter what kind of shoes I’m wearing when I’m running away?

Today I Pray

May I know the freedom that comes with surrender to a Higher Power — that most important kind of surrender that means neither “giving in” nor “giving up” but “giving over” my will to the will of God. Like a weary fugitive from spiritual order, may I stop hiding, dodging, running. May I find peace in surrender, in the knowledge that God wills hat I be whole and healthy and He will show me the way.

Today I Will Remember

First surrender, then serenity.

*****************************************

One More Day

Ill health of body or of mind, is defeat. Health alone is victory. Let all men, if they can manage it, contrive to be healthy.
– Thomas Carlyle

This message, on the surface, could be upsetting to people who are chronically ill. Can we be sick and healthy at the same time? We learn that we can. Even if we have an ongoing health need, we can still create a new frame of reference which allows us to be as healthy as we can. Rather than letting our problems run us into the ground, we can make the opposite choice.

We can choose balance in our lives, by deciding to put the problem in its place as only one facet of our lives. At the moment we decide, at the moment we make a conscious decision to be a fighter, we will be striving toward wellness once again.

By constructively choosing to keep a strong attitude emotionally and physically, I will be on the road to balanced health.

************************************

Food For Thought

Willing to Go to Any Lengths

To achieve success in this program, we are willing to go to any lengths. We want to stop eating compulsively more than anything else. We are willing to take the steps, which led to success for hundreds of others who have gone before us.

When we put abstinence first in our lives, then we are willing to experience periods of hunger and craving as our appetites and our bodies adjust to the new food plan. We are willing to eat according to need, not greed.

In times of stress and difficulty, we are willing to go to any lengths to stay on our program. This may involve going to extra meetings, making more phone calls, spending more time reading the literature and meditating. Whatever it takes to keep us abstinent is what we are willing to do.

Most important, we are willing to turn our lives over to the care of God, as each of us understands Him. As we let ourselves be led hour-by-hour and day-by-day, our lives fall into place, and we are given inner joy and serenity.

I pray that I may always be willing.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

~ RECOVERY ~

Survival is nothing more than recovery.
Dianne Feinstein

As a very young child, I had a loving relationship with my Higher Power. I talked to God all the time about the things I didn't understand. I asked for His help in making me a better person, daughter, granddaughter, etc.

Then, as happens in dysfunctional families, things got worse. Being the youngest, I became the scapegoat for people who didn't know how to express anger and pain properly. I, too, learned inappropriate ways to express my feelings. I also began to turn against my Higher Power. Why wasn't He helping me? Why was He letting me be so unhappy? Why wasn't He answering my prayers? Why hadn't I awakened thin yet?

It took me many years to destroy my relationship with God, but thankfully, it only took a few years of the Twelve Step program for me to rediscover my former relationship with Him. As my eating disorders have been lessened and abstinence has become the norm in my life, I am very grateful for the Higher Power in my life today. I truly feel as if I've gained something I once lost. Thanks to recovery, I've also gained things I never had or don't remember having. I have a peace, serenity, acceptance, understanding and love that I can never remember experiencing before. The more I trust in my Higher Power, the more rewards of recovery become mine.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will work my program and be grateful for the level of recovery I'm currently experiencing. When I feel a lack of growth within myself, I will look at how far I've come and trust that my growth is in my Higher Power's time, not mine.
~ Rhonda H. ~

*****************************************

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

Alcoholics Anonymous is not a religious organization. Neither does A.A. take any particular medical point of view, though we cooperate widely with the men of medicine as well as with the men of religion. - Pg. XX - Forward To The Second Edition - 4th. Edition

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Our 12 steps are dedicated primarily to the cultivation of principle in the befuddled addict's mind. Spiritual soundness leads to mental soundness. Even though we don't understand the process of our program to stop our cravings, we must trust that IT WORKS.

I look at those around me, at their success and know that this process WORKS even if it isn't clear how.

Golden Moments

I will pay attention to guidance from within and without. There are moments when I know I am doing what lights my spirit and challenges me. Moments when I feel alive and in tune; in touch with a force beyond me that is guiding me towards something that's right for me. Those moments are golden. They carry me through my fears and hard times, they sustain me when inevitable doubts creep in, they give me strength to carry on and stay on course.

I will hold inspiration close to me heart.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

It's hard to believe that this simple program can work for us. But it does. We see it each time an old timer celebrates a birthday, a newcomer picks up a token, or a former skid row drunk reaches out to help an alcoholic doctor that has hit his first meeting in desperation. Believe.

I make believe until I can believe.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

They say that you need only one meeting a week but it might be a good idea to go to one every night so you don't miss the one you need!

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

I am clearing out old confusion and doubt so that I can see the miracle today.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

Spending money I don't have, buying things I don't need, to impress people I don't know. - Norm A.

*****************************************

AA Thought for the Day

January 14

Obsession
The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking
is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker.
The persistence of this illusion is astonishing.
Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 30

Thought to Ponder . . .
Within our wonderful new world, we have found freedom from our fatal obsession.

AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
H J F = Happy, Joyous, Free.

~*~A.A. Thoughts For The Day~*~

Unity
In many self-governing countries we are now seeing
the inroads of ignorance, apathy, and power-seeking
upon democratic systems.
Their spiritual resources of right purpose
and collective intelligence are waning.
Consequently, many a land has become so helpless
that the only answer is dictatorship.
Happily for us, there seems little prospect
of such a calamity in AA.
The life of each individual and of each group
is built around our Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.
We very well know that the penalty for
extensive disobedience to these principles
is death for the individual and dissolution for the group.
An even greater force for AA's unity is in the compelling love
that we have for our fellow members and for the principles
upon which our lives today are founded.
Bill W.
c. 1962 AAWS, Twelve Concepts for World Service, 26th printing,  p. 8

Thought to Consider . . .
Only those who see the invisible
can accomplish the impossible.

*~*~*AACRONYMS*~*~*
P R O G R A M =  People Relying On God Relay A Message

*~*~*~*~*^Just For Today!^*~*~*~*~*

Quitting
>From "More about Alcoholism":
"Though there is no way of proving it, we believe that early in our drinking careers most of us could have stopped
drinking. But the difficulty is that few alcoholics have enough desire to stop while there is yet time."
2001 AAWS, Inc., Fourth Edition; Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 33

*~*~*~*~*^ Grapevine Quote ^*~*~*~*~*

"The other day, I sent an AA friend on a job interview. He went to the wrong address and he lost the man's name. In another office, he stated his purpose, was offered a job, and came back with one better than the job I sent him to look for."
Wayne, Pa., June 1984
"The Mysterious Ways of the Higher Power"
AA Grapevine

~*~*~*~*^ Big Book & Twelve N' Twelve Quotes of the Day ^*~*~*~*~*

"When ready, we say something like this: 'My Creator, I am now
willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you
now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in
the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as
I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.' We have then
completed Step Seven."
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 76~

"...with us, to drink is to die."
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 66~

Where humility had formerly stood for a forced feeding on humble pie, it now begins to mean the nourishing ingredient which can give us serenity.
-Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions p.74

Misc. AA Literature - Quote

The temptation is to become rather possessive of newcomers. Perhaps we try to give them advice about their affairs which we aren't really competent to give or ought not give at all. Then we are hurt and confused when the advice is rejected, or when it is accepted and brings still greater confusion.
'You can't make a horse drink water if he still prefers beer or is too crazy to know what he does want. Set a pail of water beside him, tell him how good it is and why, and leave him alone.
'If people really want to get drunk, there is, so far as I know, no way of stopping this - so leave them alone and let them get drunk. But don't exclude them from the water pail, either.'

Prayer for the Day:  Dear Heavenly Father, Please help me to control my attitude and to respond to others with love and kindness.  I pray that my attitude reflects your character always. In Jesus name, AMEN!