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God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
and Wisdom to know the difference.
Thy will, not mine, be done.

February 25

Daily Reflections

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As Bill Sees It

Facing Criticism, p. 56

Sometimes, we register surprise, shock, and anger when people find
fault with A.A. We are apt to be disturbed to such an extent that we
cannot benefit by constructive criticism.

This sort of resentment makes no friends and achieves no
constructive purpose. Certainly, this is an area in which we can
improve.

<< << << >> >> >>

It is evident that the harmony, security, and future effectiveness of
A.A. will depend largely upon our maintenance of a thoroughly
nonaggressive and pacific attitude in all our public relations. This is
an exciting assignment, because in our drinking days we were prone
to anger, hostility, rebellion, and aggression. And, even though we
are now sober, the old patterns of behavior are to a degree still with
us, always threatening to explode on any good excuse.

But we now know this, and therefore I feel confident that in the
conduct of our public affairs we shall always find the grace to exert
restraint.

1. Grapevine, July 1965
2. Twelve Concepts, p. 68

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Walk In Dry Places
 
Malicious Gossip____Honest Motives
"Without really knowing what was happening, I said something bad today about a person I secretly resented. When it occurred to me that my remark could come back to hurt me, I had a moment of panic,"  an AA member said.  "With little reflection, however, I realized that the more serious problem was the dishonesty that caused me to belittle somebody behind hie back!"
We are growing up when we come to see that gossip feeds on our own insecurity and self-deception.  When we are unwilling to part company with gossip, we devise subtle ways to keep it in our lives.  We can gossip by steering the conversation to a topic that is likely to bring revealing comments.  We also gossip by reveling in lurid accounts of others' sins and failings.  We should even ask ourselves if we are gossiping when we "discuss" another member who is not living up to our ideas of true Twelve Step standards.  This is often prefaced by the remark, "I don't want to take Joe's inventory, but….."
We cannot live freely and happily if we practice gossip in any form.  The practice may be hidden, but it leaves us with guilt, fear, and shame.  We cannot gossip and be completely trustworthy and reliable.
I will truly mind my own business today.  Forgiving myself for past excursions into gossip, I will say nothing about others behind their backs.  If somebody has gossip to share, I will politely move to another topic.

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Keep It Simple

Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.---Willaim James
Step Two speaks of believing. For many years, we had given up believing in ourselves, in a Higher Power, and in others. We believed in getting high. Now our program tells us to believe in love. We are lovable, and we can love others without hurting them. Of course, believing is an important part of recovery.
To believe means to put aside our doubts. To believe means to have hope. Believing makes the road a little smoother. So, believing lets the healing happen a little faster. All of this is how we get ready to let in the care of our Higher Power.
Prayer for the Day:  I pray for the courage to believe. I'll not let doubt into my heart. I can recover. I can give myself totally to this simple program.
Action for the Day:  I'll list four times doubt got in my way. And I'll think of what I can do to not let that happen again.

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Each Day a New Beginning

You need only claim the events of your life to make yourself yours.  --Florida Scott-Maxwell
The search is on. Everyone, everywhere, asks the question at some time, "Who am I?" Women like ourselves are fortunate to have this program. It shows us the way to self-discovery. It directs our steps to the celebration of self that is a gift of recovery. The events of our past may plague us. But they did contribute to the fullness we feel today. And for them, for their involvement in who we've become, we can be grateful.
Claiming ourselves, the good and the bad, is healing. It's taking responsibility--for where we were and where we're going. Claiming ourselves makes us the active participants in our lives. The choices are many and varied. Not actively participating in life is also a choice. Passivity may have been our dominant choice in years gone by. But now, today, we are choosing recovery. We are choosing action that is healing, and wholeness is the result.
Making myself mine, will exhilarate me. It will give me hope. It will prepare me for anything to come. I will know a new joy.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS

Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy. One of our Fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects. He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance.

p. 96

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

The Vicious Cycle

How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.

In conclusion, I can only say that whatever growth or understanding has come to me, I have no wish to graduate.  Very rarely do I miss the meetings of my neighborhood A.A. group, and my average has never been less than two meetings a week.  I have served on only one committee in the past nine years, for I feel that I had my chance the first few years and that newer members should fill the jobs.  They are far more alert and progressive than we floundering fathers were, and the future of our fellowship is in their hands.  We now live in the West and are very fortunate in our area A.A.; it is good, simple and friendly, and our one desire is to stay in A.A. and not on it.  Our pet slogan is "Easy Does It."
And I still say that as long as I remember January 8th in Washington, that is how long, by the grace of God as I understand Him, I will retain a happy sobriety.

pp. 230-231

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."

Though in some cases we cannot make restitution at all, and in some cases action ought to be deferred, we should nevertheless make an accurate and really exhaustive survey of our past life as it has affected other people. In many instances we shall find that though the harm done others has not been great, the emotional harm we have done ourselves has. Very deep, sometimes quite forgotten, damaging emotional conflicts persist below the level of consciousness. At the time of these occurrences, they may actually have given our emotions violent twists which have since discolored our personalities and altered our lives for the worse.

pp. 79-80

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God, protect me from negative influences, which erode my beliefs.
Help me protect myself. Surround me with that which is positive,
edifying, and uplifting.
--Melody Beattie

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man
can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much
as we speak.
--Epictetus

Have compassion for yourself and others.
Everyone is doing the best they can based on their life experiences.
Everyone is learning and growing, and so are you.
--HeartMath Discovery Program, Doc Childre and Sara Paddison

A great reform would take place in the world if we tried to live truth
instead of preaching it.

"I have been given a quiet place in bright sunshine."
--Bill W.

I am God's Melody of Life and He Sings His Song through me.

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

AMBITION

"The child without ambition is
like a watch with a broken
spring."
-- R. W. Stockman

It is not wrong to have ambition. It is not wrong to want to be
"somebody". The tragedy is that this has to be said!

For too long we have played the tapes in our head that discouraged
ambition and creative pride. We confused humility with timidity and
self-abuse. We waited for things to happen, rather than made them
happen.

Today I know that I am a creature of God --- created to create. God is
at work in my life. I am part of His miracle for the world.

O God, may I always have ambition for those things that are good and
true.

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"Keep on doing the things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in
me, and the God of peace will be with you."
Philippians 4:9

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord
Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand,
and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations,
knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and
character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured
out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Rom. 5:1-5

"So Jesus answered and said to them, Have faith in God."
Mark 11:22

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Daily Inspiration

To receive the wonderful healing power of love, wish others well even when things aren't going so well for you. Lord, I rejoice in You always because You are blessing me daily no matter what my circumstances may be.

We are judged by our actions, not by our intentions. Lord, may I show my love for You through charity and goodness toward others.

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NA Just For Today

Sick As Our Secrets

"It would be tragic to write [out an inventory only to] shove it in a drawer These defects grow in the dark and die in the light of exposure."
Basic Text, p. 31

How many times have we heard it said that we are only as sick as our secrets? While many members choose not to use meetings to share the intimate details of their lives, it is important that we each discover what works best for us. What about those behaviors we have carried into our recovery that, if discovered, would cause us shame? How much are we comfortable disclosing, and to whom? If we are uncomfortable sharing some details of our lives in meetings, to whom do we turn?

We have found the answer to these questions in sponsorship. Although a relationship with a sponsor takes time to build, it is important that we come to trust our sponsor enough to be completely honest. Our defects only have power as long as they stay hidden. If we want to be free of those defects, we must uncover them. Secrets are only secrets until we share them with another human being.

Just for today: I will uncover my secrets. I will practice being honest with my sponsor.

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
The most useless day of all is that in which we have not laughed. --Sebastian R. N. Champort
We are told that laughter is sunshine filling a room. And where there is laughter, there also is life. They say that people who laugh a lot live longer than do the sour-faced. When we laugh together, gratitude comes more easily, companionship thrives, and all praise is sincere. Laughter brings us joy that cannot be bought. Such joy is with us throughout each day. To hoard joy, to hide it away deep within us away from others, will make us lonely misers. We cannot buy or trade for joy, but we can give or receive it as a gift.
Laughter's joy celebrates the moment we are living right now. It is a gift we must share, or it will wither and die. Shared, it grows and thrives, and always returns to us when we need it most.
What can I find to laugh about right now?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Every time I dose the door on Reality, it comes in through the window. --Ashleigh Brilliant
In the past many of us closed the door on the reality of our abuse of others or ourselves. We gave explanations, but our words more often hid the truth than revealed it. The chaos in our lives was reality coming in the window. Many men have come into this program priding themselves on their honesty, but not aware of how dishonest they were with themselves.
Honesty is a pillar of spiritual awakening. There is no growth without it, and it begins with ourselves. We do not define the truth, we accept it, we surrender to it. The truth may not feel good; it can even be painful. This is the pain of birth - the rebirth of a real man. And the promise of this day is the reward of having our integrity and the peace of self-acceptance.
Today, I will surrender to the truth. I will accept the reality, which presses for attention in my life.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Accepting Imperfection
"Why do I do this to myself?" asked a woman who wanted to lose weight. "I went to my support group feeling so guilty and ashamed because I ate half a cookie that wasn't on the diet. I found out that everyone cheats a little, and some people cheat a lot. I felt so ashamed before I came to the group, as though I were the only one not doing my diet perfectly. Now I know that I'm dieting as well as most, and better than some."
Why do we do this to ourselves? I'm not talking strictly about dieting; I'm talking about life. Why do we punish ourselves by thinking that we're inferior while believing that others are perfect - whether in relationships, recovery, or a specific task?
Whether we're judging others, or ourselves it's two sides of the same coin: perfection. Neither expectation is valid.
It is far more accurate and beneficial to tell ourselves that who we are is okay and what we are doing is good enough. That doesn't mean we won't make mistakes that need correcting; doesn't mean we won't get off track from time to time; doesn't mean we can't improve. It means with all our mistakes and wandering, we're basically on course. Encouraging and approving of ourselves is how we help ourselves stay on track.
Today, I will love and encourage myself. I will tell myself that what I'm doing is good enough, and I'll let myself enjoy that feeling.


I will give myself the gift of time today and be quiet and hear with my heart. I will go to my special place inside where I really live in love and in joy and carry those feelings with me throughout the day. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart

Learn to Help Heal Yourself

I feel a heaviness in my lungs, almost a pain; the next day, I find myself crying, discharging old grief and sadness. On another occasion, I feel sharp pangs in my stomach; within days, denied rage begins to surface and the pain subsides. My head aches, pounds, throbs; hours later, I feel the fear I’ve been running from. I feel the energy in my body shifting, moving, taking new shape; over the next months, I’m led into a new cycle, a new season in my life.

Some of the pains and illnesses we suffer from are indications of acute physical problems. They’re signs that our body has broken down and we need medical attention. But many of the aches and pains we experience are symptoms of a deeper process– a process of healing and cleansing our heart and soul.

As we go through our daily experiences, circumstances will trigger this healing. Someone says something that makes us feel angry or afraid, which triggers a feeling similar to one we repressed years ago. Or a conversation causes us to remember something that hurt us long ago, and our body begins to release the pain of that old emotion. Sometimes, our aches and pains are signals that some emotion is ready to surface. We need to acknowledge the feeling, feel the energy. Let it pass through us, then watch for the lesson to appear and the pain to dissipate.

If we are committed to a path of spiritual growth, our bodies will soon begin to use everything that happens as a vehicle for healing. Trust yourself and listen, and you’ll know what to do. You’ll find healers and help that will support you as you continue to discover and trust your soul.

Remember to trust the simple everyday wisdom of your body. It’s a barometer for you soul.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Let God and your intuition lead the way

I define synchronicity as an external event which triggers an internal knowing. It has to do with events that are significant coincidences, such as when you are trying to solve a problem and someone “just happens” to call. During the conversation the caller “just happens” to give a clue or answer to the difficulty.
–Nancy Rosanoff, Intuition Workout

I was talking to my friend Kyle one day. I was in the final stages of writing Playing It By Heart, but I didn’t know what the ending was. The book was an in-depth life review. I was astounded by the number of experiences I’ve had.

“I’ve been a pauper, a drug addict, a codepepndent, a mid-western housewife, a married woman, a single parent on welfare, a secretary, a journalist, a chemical dependency counselor, a book author, a bereaved parent, and a Californian. I’ve traveled to the Middle East, across the United States, ran a bookstore, and now, although I’ve taken the long hard road to get there, I live at the beach,” I said. “There’s nothing left for me to do.”

“I know one thing you want to do that you haven’t done yet,” Kyle said.

“What?” I asked. There was a long silence. I thought maybe he hung up.

“I know,” he said. “You’ve never jumped out of a plane.”

I forgot about the conversation. Within a few day, the phone rang. A man who had worked on my house about nine months before was on the line. He reintroduced himself. Then he explained why he called. He said he was a sky diver, and he asked if I’d like to go to the drop zone with him sometime, and maybe make a tandem jump.

A few months later, I went with him to Skydive Elsinore. I learned that day that jumping out of airplanes was something I very much wanted to do. And the skydiving experience was exactly the ending I needed for my book.

Trust your inner guidance. Our Higher Power works in mysterious ways. Listen to people, and watch for signs that trigger your inner knowing.

God, help me be open to all the ways you speak to me to help guide me along my path.

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Hard Learned Lessons
Bad Days

We all have days from time to time when it feels like the world is against us or that the chaos we are experiencing will never end. One negative circumstance seems to lead to another. You may wonder, on a bad day, whether anything in your life will ever go right again. But a bad day, like any other day, can be a gift. Having a bad day can show you that it is time to slow down, change course, or lighten up. A bad day can help you glean wisdom you might otherwise have overlooked or discounted. Bad days can certainly cause you to experience uncomfortable feelings you would prefer to avoid, yet a bad day may also give you a potent means to learn about yourself.

You may consider a bad day to be one where you’ve missing an important meeting because your car stalled, the dryer broke, and you received a piece of very bad news earlier in the morning. Multiple misfortunes that take place one after the other can leave us feeling vulnerable and intensely cognizant of our fragility. But bad days can only have a long-term negative effect on us if we let them. It is better to ask yourself what you can learn from these kinds of days. The state of your bad day may be an indicator that you need to stay in and hibernate or let go of your growing negativity.

Bad days contribute to the people we become. Though we may feel discouraged and distressed on our bad days, a bad day can teach us patience and perseverance. It is important to remember that your attitude drives your destiny and that one negative experience does not have to be the beginning of an ongoing stroke of bad luck. A bad day is memorable because it is one day among many good days – otherwise, we wouldn’t even bother to acknowledge it as a bad day. Know too, that everybody has bad days, you are not alone, the world is not against you. Tomorrow is guaranteed to be a brighter day. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Before we came to The Program, fear ruled our lives. Tyrannized by our addictions and obsessions, we feared everything and everybody. We feared ourselves and, perhaps most of all, feared fear itself. these days, when I am able to accept the help of my Higher Power, it makes me feel capable of doing anything I am called to do. I am overcoming my fears and acquiring a comfortable new confidence. Can I believe that “courage is fear that has said its prayers…”?

Today I Pray

God grant that through faith in Him I may overcome my obsessive fears. I have been running scared for so long it has become a habit. God help me to see that I may be purposely clinging to my fears to avoid making decisions, perhaps even to shirk the responsibility of success.

Today I Will Remember

Fear keeps me safe from risk-taking.

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One More Day

He who attempts to resist the wave is swept away, but he who bends before it abides.
– Leviticus

Just as water transforms the definition of the shoreline, so can our changing health patterns alter the boundaries of our days. What looked and felt normal before may be entirely alien now.

In various stages of life, we’ve repeatedly demonstrated our ability to adapt to new situations. Marriage, children, new jobs all call for personal change. Add to these everyday occurrences a chronic medical condition (physical or emotional) and we may feel we are drowning. Perhaps at these times, we can disengage ourselves from the moment, reassess the past, and recall how well we’ve handled the changes life has demanded. We have been adaptable, and we can continue to be.

Creating a new pattern of living is definitely within my reach.

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Food For Thought

A New Place

After a slip, we do not go back and start again in the same place where we were before. Through the experience of making a mistake, we have reached a new place. Out of error, we can gain new knowledge and insight.

Often we find that wrong thinking got us into trouble. Perhaps we fell back into the old perception of ourself as the center of the universe. Perhaps we forgot to turn over whatever was troubling us and instead began to overeat. Perhaps we tried to depend on our own inadequate strength to get us through the day. Undoubtedly, we forgot that abstinence is the most important thing in our lives without exception.

Whatever the mistake, we can profit from it by growing in understanding and insight. We can mark a pitfall to be avoided in the future. We start again a few steps farther ahead, in a new place.

May I not be discouraged by mistakes.

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One Day At A Time

~ STARTING OVER ~

Vitality shows not only in the ability to persist,
but in the ability to start over.
F. Scott Fitzgerald

Before coming into this program I was, and probably still am to a certain extent, a perfectionist, so one of the things I really struggled with is being able make mistakes without feeling bad about myself. So when I came into the program, I decided that I was going to do this program perfectly, and proceeded to do just that. I followed a meal plan, lost weight and worked the steps, and I really thought I had it made. But I hadn't counted on the fact that this is a disease, and it is both cunning, baffling and powerful. So when I had my first slip, I was devastated and felt a real failure.

Fortunately for me, with the help of many loving sponsors over the years, I have realized that I am not a failure if I slip, but I am only one if I fail to get up. This program has enabled me to learn that when I make a mistake, I am not that mistake, and that all I need to do is to pick myself up and start over. In the old days if I failed at a diet, I would never have been able to pick myself up so soon, and it would always be an excuse to carry on eating and start the diet again on Monday. Now I know that my abstinence can even start at the end of the day, rather than waiting till tomorrow, next week or even next month. I am slowly starting to let go of the guilt I feel when I slip, and am also learning to love myself even when I do flounder, because with the love and support I am given in this program, I know I can always start over.

One day at a time...
I will remember that I can start afresh any time I like, and don't need to feel as if I have failed.
~ Sharon ~

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

We avoid retaliation or argument. - Pg. 67 - How It Works

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

I only have one character defect left and it's just that I think about myself **** near all the time.

Seeing Deeply

Every day I experience another piece of myself. Yes I am laid low, but at the same time worlds are opening up to me on the inside. My body is struggling to heal and so is the rest of me. I am watching myself deepen inside and become more aware. It is forced upon me by illness, but I cannot help but being a little bit grateful for the time to slow down and go within. I am seeing the subtleties of life, I am watching myself watch the world around me. I have a witness inside that is constantly with me but I seldom take time to be with it. As I witness my own thoughts, I learn about who I am inside, what makes me tick. As I watch myself interact with others, I see how I act in relationships. As I notice the little things, life seems to matter more.

I am renewing my relationship with life

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

The spiritual journey is one of continually falling on your face, getting up, brushing yourself off, looking sheepishly at God, and taking another step.

If I'm faced in the right direction, and fall on my face, I've still made progress.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Actions speak louder than bumper stickers.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

I will give myself the gift of time today and be quiet and hear with my heart. I will go to my special place inside where I really live in love and in joy and carry those feelings with me throughout the day.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I never let go of anything that didn't have my claw marks on it. - Tony B.

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AA Thought for the Day

February 25

Humility First
We who had won so handsomely in a walk turned into all-time losers.
We saw that we had to reconsider or die.
We found many in AA who once thought as we did.
They helped us to get down to our right size.
By their example they showed us that humility and intellect could be compatible,
provided we placed humility first.
- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 30

Thought to Ponder . . .
Learning is the very essence of humility; the two walk hand in hand.

AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
A A = Attitude Adjustment.

~*~A.A. Thoughts For The Day~*~

Powerlessness
Who cares to admit complete defeat?
Practically no one, of course.
Every natural instinct cries out against the idea
of personal powerlessness.
It is truly awful to admit that, glass in hand,
we have warped our minds into such an obsession
for destructive drinking
that only an act of Providence can remove it from us.
c. 1952 AAWS, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 21

Thought to Consider . . .
We surrender to win.

*~*~*AACRONYMS*~*~*
S W A T = Surrender, Willingness, Acceptance, Trust.

*~*~*~*~*^Just For Today!^*~*~*~*~*

Insanity
>From "Bill's Story":
"Shortly afterward I came home drunk. There had been no fight. Where had been my high resolve? I simply didn't know.
It hadn't even come to mind. Someone had pushed a drink my way, and I had taken it. Was I crazy? I began to wonder,
for such an appalling lack of perspective seemed near being just that."
2001 AAWS, Inc., Fourth Edition; Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 5

*~*~*~*~*^ Grapevine Quote ^*~*~*~*~*

"I expect to be 'on tap' but never again 'on top,' this being precisely the stance that AA hopes all its old-timers will take."
AA Co-Founder, Bill W., November 1961
From: "Again at the Crossroads"
The Language of the Heart

~*~*~*~*^ Big Book & Twelve N' Twelve Quotes of the Day ^*~*~*~*~*

"For the type of alcoholic who is able and willing get well, little
charity, in the ordinary sense of the word, is need or wanted. The men
who cry for money and shelter before conquering alcohol, are on the
wrong track."
Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Working With Others, pg. 97

"To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a
long time nor take the quantities some of us have. This is
particularly true of women. Potential female alcoholics often turn
into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years."
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, More About Alcoholism, pg. 33~

We will want the good that is in us all, even in the worst of us, to flower and to grow.
-Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions p. 98

Misc. AA Literature - Quote

Facing Criticism
Sometimes, we register surprise, shock, and anger when people find fault with A.A. We are apt to be disturbed to such
an extent that we cannot benefit by constructive criticism.
This sort of resentment makes no friends and achieves no constructive purpose. Certainly, this is an area in which we
can improve.
It is evident that the harmony, security, and future effectiveness of A.A. will depend largely upon our maintenance of a
thoroughly nonaggressive and pacific attitude in all our public relations. This is an exacting assignment, because in our
drinking days we were prone to anger, hostility, rebellion, and aggression. And, even though we are now sober, the old
patterns of behavior are to a degree still with us, always threatening to explode on any good excuse.
But we now know this, and therefore I feel confident that in the conduct of our public affairs we shall always find the
grace to exert restraint. 1. GRAPEVINE, JULY 1965 - 2. TWELVE CONCEPTS, p. 69

Prayer for the Day: Lord God, help me to lay my life in the rocks of thy foundation, and not in moving sands which are tossed from shore to shore. May I cling to the rock that was cleft for me and trust for thy care. Amen.

Ask and you shall receive,
Seek and ye shall find,
Knock and it shall be opened unto you.
Matthew 7:7

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